Wrapping

Shhhhhh... We're wrapping mommy's present. Daddy was nice enough to Photoshop out what we got for her. She's really going to like it though....

Comfort?

Last night I went to a viewing. I wanted to comfort my close friend and his wife. She had lost her brother.

The viewing was at a church in Lowell. There was a long line from the auditorium and through the lobby to offer sympathy and condolences to the family. A powerpoint presentation scrolled verses of comfort over peaceful photographs. I couldn't help but think, What a load of crap! I am not sure who the verses were intended for, but those verses made me wonder what use those verses were to the man who died. To the man who willingly took his own life. It was such a paradox of good Baptist lifeless comfort opposed by the sight of a man that found no comfort here. And, he left behind a little boy who will grow up with self accusation that he wasn't enough to make his dad want to live. I just don't understand.

Crash Remix (MTB)

I love mountain biking. I love watching mountain biking crashes on AFV. This youtube video is awesome!

Merry Manufactured Home Christmas

Here at "The Office" we let lenders and people know the value of their niche housing. We received this from Arizona. Merry Christmas!

The Next Book – "The Tender Bar: A Memoir"

I know I promised The Danger Habbit by Mike Barrett would be the next read, but I've decided to read The Tender Bar: A Memoir next. It's a book that I asked for a few years ago and received, only to sit on my book shelf.

It is time to read it. So many of the praises on the book's back cover. "A memoir of coming of age in, of all unlikely places, a great American bar." "The Tender Bar will make you thirsty for that life - its camaraderie, its hilarity, its seductive, dangerous wisdom." "Simply a wonderful book about a heaven of a life that everything going against it except intense love worth more than all the money in the world."

It makes me curious if that is the life – the camaraderie and wisdom and a heaven of life – many "Christians" are truly longing for but aren't getting inside the four walls of a building. And, wanting that life is made out to be shameful.

In A Pit With A Lion on a Snowy Day - DONE!

This morning I finished reading In a Pit with A Lion on a Snowy Day by Mark Batterson. This is simply the best book I have read to date.

A few years ago I heard Margaret Feinberg speak at a Catalyst Lab. She had mentioned the book Ordering Your Private World by Gordon MacDonald during her talk. Her life and my life had a lot of similarities. We had e-mailed back and forth a bit. She said that she reads Ordering Your Private World at the beginning of every year to help her reset priorities. I read the book. For where I was at the time, the book was a bit to much about rigidity and disciplines. That was the very thing I was trying to be free from.

While reading In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day I realized that is a book that I need to read every year to help reset my priorities. The book is that good. The book is that necessary. The book is that re-orientating. I have already put a date in my iCal for December 2008 to read it again. Once all of the reading and papers and exams and classes are done after my first term at MHGS. Though I will probably need a break from reading, In a Pit will help remind me of the Lion God has called me to chase.

Under Pressure

(Such a great David Bowie with Queen song!)

Yesterday morning I stopped turning a blind eye to the lack of water pressure in our house. The lack of water pressure was noticeable especially in the upstairs bathroom. The faucet for the sink would belch air for a few seconds, and the shower had about half pressure.

Ignorance was bliss. Especially because the pump for our well looks like it is the original one, and worse yet the neighbors on both sides of us had new wells drilled a couple of summers ago. Yesterday morning I was doing laundry and water stopped coming into the washer. I couldn't ignore it any longer. I went down and, yep, the well pump wasn't running. I banged on it. Still didn't help. I pondered not going in to "The Office." I still had a sick day available. But, I pressued on. I took a shower with half water pressure. I went downstairs and the pump was running. I expressed to Jean that I was still going to call the well guy because something wasn't right.

The well guy came out in the afternoon. He borrowed a paper clip from Jean, and cleaned off the rust/deposits from the line that relayed pressure information back to the pump. WHEW! An $85 service call is WAY better than a new pump, or, worse yet, digging a new well.

A Day in the Attic

Yesterday Alina, Sam, and I traveled to my mom's house in Lansing. Jean needed the alone time. I needed to help my mom move and deliver several boxes of books that she had been storing for a relative for several years. I also wanted to go through a few of my dad's things that remained, as well as a few of my toys that remained.

We only make it to the Lansing area a few times of year anymore. Typically only when Jean's brothers all make it to town from out of state. So, I think yesterday was the first time I had been to my mom's house in a year - to set up her new to her computer.

It was like my bedroom was frozen in time. A few meaningful unopened bottles of beverages were on my wall shelf - a bottle of Mountain Dew from high school graduation, a can of Wink from Canada from my best friend (we met together every Wednesday morning for prayer during college, backpacking trips to Canada and Colorado, and he was the best man in our wedding) to name a few. The Amy Grant poster was still on the wall from the "Heart in Motion" album.

In the attic was my Grandfather's coronet that my mom played in marching band. I had forgotten how beautifully the instrument was detailed. Sam and I enjoyed trying to make music on it. I came across a few more Evel Knievel toys. All my stuffed animals. A couple of Tonka trucks that hadn't made out of the attic on previous toy raids. My box of hats (many serving as advertisements for the Chevy Blazers my dad drove, or the brands of cigarettes he smoked). Moon boots (yesssssssssssssssss!).

One of the coolest finds was in the box that also contained my mom's snowmobile helmet. In that box was a brown paper sack that was weathered by time. In the sack were the the congratulation cars from relatives and friends when I was born. That was cool. There was also one "it's a boy" cigar with the cards. I SO wanted to smoke it. Maybe on a special occasion. For now, it is safe inside the weathered brown paper bag inside the weathered Mead paper box.

Needing Monday Night

Last night Jean had left for ladies' group and I was putting dinner on the plates. Alina was in her chair in the dining room and asked, "Dad, why are you mad?" WOW! That disarmed me. I told her that I was sorry for acting mad.

The last several weeks have been really, really hard. The usual November depression, which may have hit a little harder this year with the weight of what needs to be done to the house to get it ready for selling. By the time I get home from work, hangout with the family, eat dinner, put Sam and Alina to bed - I am honestly ready for bed. And it's only 7:30. I don't feel like doing anything.

Work has been difficult recently. Or, frustrating. I've been handling some of the work load of the appraisers, only to give them more time to look at their stocks, badmouth people, etc. Often I can't breathe. Lately I've been wearing my ear buds to drown out the moaning and whining, until my ears heart to the point I need to take them out.

The last week or two there has been a change in Sam. Flexing a lot more attitude to Jean, to Alina, and to his teacher. So, when I got home last night I was already near a boil from work, and expecting a night of "attitude" from Sam, and literal screaming at Sam by Alina.

But, Alina knew something wasn't right, and she called me out. Last night was good. I was patient. I enjoyed them. Sam beat me in checkers. We all laughed and enjoyed each other last night. I needed them.

Hello Old Friend

Yesterday an old friend stopped by to chat. It was really, really good to hear from him. We talked for a couple of hours. It was good to catch up on life with him.

Hello Old Friend, by Eric Clapton
As I am strolling down the garden path,
I saw a flower glowing in the dark.
It looked so pretty and it was unique;
I had to bend down just to have a peek.

Hello old friend,
Its really good to see you once again.
Hello old friend,
Its really good to see you once again.

I saw you walking underneath the stars;
I couldnt stop cause I was in a car.
Im sure the distance wouldn't be too far
If I got out and walked to where you are.

Chorus

An old man passed me on the street today;
I thought I knew him but I couldnt say.
I stopped to think if I could place his frame.
When he tipped his hat I knew his name.

Chorus

Chorus

Cartographer Joke of the Day

The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He placed it on top of the instrument panel, then asked the navigator, "Do you know what I use this for?"
The navigator replied timidly, "No, what's it for?"
The pilot responded, "I use this on navigators who get me lost!"
The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and placed it on his chart table.
The pilot asked, "What's that for?"
"To be honest sir," the navigator replied, "I'll know we're lost before you will."

Untitled

We have this "Ninja Troll" at "The Office." Our afternoon / evening receptionist helps keep "The Office" fun by playing find the troll. At night she'll hide the troll and a few will try and find it the next day.

Wednesday he was on my desk, with a sign taped to his dagger that read "Congratulations Ed!"

This morning I completed all of my paperwork, and wrote a deposit check, indicating my intent to accept MHGS' invitation to study with them.

In my welcome packet there was a book entitled ma . tric . u . late. It is to help with some of the orientation process to MHGS. There is an opening letter in the book from Ron Carucci, the the Chief Operating Officer of MHGS. The last sentence in the second to last paragraph struck me well. That you have moved through the process and have met our acceptance criteria says you are among a unique caliber of people. Sure, just like everyone else who was accepted. But, it was like God whispered, I do love you. I do notice you. I do want to use you. And what I have in store is so far greater than what you had been imagining for the last several years.

My Band

There is a person in our office who is getting married. Yesterday I asked her if she was having a band play at her wedding. She said, "No. Just a DJ. I asked if my band could play. She said, "Just for fun?" I think she was trying to be polite, and really wanted to say no. I told her that my band was really good and that I printed her a flyer. i gave her this... (be sure to read the bottom of the poster!!!!)

What was in the Letter from MHGS

I have the luxury of instant messaging with Jean throughout the day while I'm at "The Office." Monday she kept watching for the mail carrier (actually, ours doesn't carry any mail as he doesn't walk – he's more of a mail driver). A letter should be arriving from Seattle anytime now. No mail yet. No mail yet. No mail yet. He finally came just before I got home from work Monday night. But, he didn't bring anything that we thought was important. Just one of those Valu-Paks full of coupons for services we don't need.

Tuesday, the mail dude was especially early. Jean went out and got the mail. She IM'd me that there was a credit card offer from Chase. An advertisement. And, "oooooooo. What do we have here?" She was being VERY cheeky as no one could miss the HUGE envelope from Mars Hill Graduate School. She didn't open it. I eagerly waited out the next 90 minutes until I picked Sam up from school and raced home to see what was in the big envelope.

Sunday morning I was feeling better about my fate. I remembered what I had written during the writing portion of my interview a few weeks back. I felt more at ease.

When Sam and I arrived home I tried to be calm. My eyes searched frantically for the "big envelope." I couldn't see it. Finally I blurted out, "Where is it???????" Jean said, "On the counter," with a big smile. She asked if I would come into the living room and open it. I really wanted to open it in a room all alone, but I obliged. I read the opening sentences to myself. Jean asked, "WHAT DOES IT SAY??????" It said:

Dear Ed,
It is my pleasure to inform you that the admission committee at Mars Hill Graduate School has approved your application for admission. I am delighted to extend to you an invitation to study in the M.A. in Counseling Psychology program beginning fall trimester 2008...

I also received a call last night from Crystal, the director of recruitment at MHGS. She wanted to be sure that I had received the e-mail back from her that I was considered for the MACP program, AND TO CONGRATULATE ME THAT I HAD BEEN ACCEPTED TO STUDY WITH THEM AT MARS HILL GRADUATE SCHOOL! She said that I am going to be a great addition to their community.

I told Jean, "I should have bought the $5 MHGS sweatshirt while I had the chance..."

Evel

Friday afternoon I was reading the headlines at "The Office." Robert Craig "Evel" Knievel had passed away. It was like losing a distant uncle or something. He was a part of my childhood. I remember being younger than Sam and watching his jumps. And the crashes. The fountains in Las Vegas. The canyon. Four of his jumps still among the top 20 most watched events on ABC's Wild World of Sports. I had several of his motorcycle toys. The regular motorcycle. The chopper. The rocket bike. I still have a lot of it in my basement, though they are barely together now.

In April 2007 he announced to over 4,000 people that he had accepted Christ. It is a cool conversion story. Not to awkwardly spiritualize his life, or his death, as we can easily do as Christians but it is cool nonetheless.

The Jury Has Reached Its Decision, Soon I Will Learn My Fate

I wonder if this time period of wait is what it feels like for a defendant who has been told that the jury has reached its decision, and the judge has told everyone to be in the court room in two hours. This is how I feel the next three to four days are going to feel for me. Let me explain.

Friday afternoon while we were in Seattle I talked with Crystal, the director of recruitment and admission, about changing the degree program that I was applying for from the MDiv to the MACP (masters of counseling psychology) program. We talked about it more during the weekend. I said that I would do anything to help make the process easier for them, including submitting additional essays, etc. I sent an e-mail to her on Wednesday asking if there was anything that I needed to do.

Yesterday I received this e-mail:
Hi Ed,
I just want you to be assured that you were considered for the MACP program. We’ll be in touch in the next several days.
Warmly,
cgm

I read this as meaning they have made a decision on me. Their desire of whether or not they desire me to attend Mars Hill Graduate School has been printed on letterhead, inserted into an envelope, and is enroute to my mailbox.

The hardest thing is struggling with the fear of rejection. It has been the theme of most of my life. It has been a major theme the last couple of years, especially over a job I thought I was destined for. That job desire was the reason I wrestled with God so much alone on the mountain bike trail in the mornings this summer. And, He wrestled with me. The fear lies in wondering if God will say, "No." If the answer is "No," my battle will be to believe that God has not rejected me. That He still has something even better. But, rejection can take away any signs of life, courage, will, and desire.

Philippians 1:29 says: It has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on Him, but also to suffer for Him.

In In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day Mark Batterson says, "The word granted comes from the Greek root charizomai, which literally means 'to grant a favor.' This sounds ludicrous at first earshot, but it almost as if God is saying: Listen, I owe you a favor. Let me let you suffer. We tend to see suffering as a necessary evil at best, but Paul calls it a divine favor."

Regardless of what the letter says, I need to remember this.

December's Blog

December's blog didn't turn out quite as obnoxious as originally planned. The mock up was festive. This morning, it hurt my eyes. Welcome to "December's Blog Lite."

God Wants to Redeem You're Adversity

from In the Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day, pages 73-74

I'm convinced that the people God uses most are often the people who have experienced the most adversity. That isn't necessarily what I want to write, and it isn't necessarily what you want to read, but it's true. Adversity can produce an increased capacity to serve God...

What pits have you fallen into? What lions have you encountered? What Giants have you faced? God wants to redeem the adversity you've experienced. He wants to recycle your adversity and turn it into a ministry.

I know so many people whose adversity has become their ministry. They go through a painful divorce or the death of a child or a destructive addiction, but God helps them climb out of the pit so they can help others in similar circumstances.

God is in the business of recycling our pain and using it for someone else's gain...

Now here is what you need to understand: If you don't turn your adversity into a ministry, then your pain remains your pain. But if you allow God to translate your adversity into a ministry, then your pain becomes someone else's gain.

I have a theory: The more problems you have, the more potential you have to help people.

One of the most paralyzing mistakes we make is thinking that our problems somehow disqualify us from being used by God. Let me just say it like it is: If you don't have any problems, you don't have any potential. Here's why. Your ability to help others heal is limited to where you've been wounded.

December's Blog

Today I did the mock-up for the face of December's blog. It should be festive. It may take some getting used to (like, it is borderline obnoxious), but I think you'll like it.

The Irony

Today Mike, our tech lead at "The Office," sent an e-mail to everyone that said, Please be advised that I have made a change to our email servers. All mail with a spam score of >= 15 will now be deleted before it even reaches your inbox. If you would like a lower number for automatic deletion please let me know. A score of 5 or more is generally considered to be spam. I do backup all incoming mail before the spam filter runs so if you believe you are missing an important message, please let me know and I will look for it in the backup.
--
Mike

The ironic thing is that his e-mail message went to my junk mail folder.

A Long Two Weeks

This could be the longest two week wait of my life. Or at least the hardest wait. Well, hard, but not as hard as the anticipation leading up to asking Jean to marry me, or waiting for my children to be born. But, it still ranks up there. I haven't heard from MHGS that they need anything more from me to help them make their decision about me, especially moving from the MDiv program to the Counseling program. Acceptance letters go out from the school on Dec. 1. I was told a decision on me might be delayed. I am just eager to know.

DUDE!

This commercial makes me laugh. Maybe it is because it reminds me of my life, minus the beer... This one has a few different scenes.

Are You Living Your Life in a Way that is Worth Telling Stories About?

from pages 56-57 of In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day...

"So here is my question: Are you living your life in a way that is worth telling stories about?

Maybe it is time to quit running and time to start chasing. Try something new. Take some risks. Start doing some things that are worth recounting in jaw-dropping detail. I think we owe it to our kids and grandkids. Imagine the bedtime stories Benaiah must have told his children. I can hear his wife monitoring him. Remember Benaiah, they're only four and five years old. Keep it G.

Too many of us pray as if God's primary objective is to keep us from getting scared. But the goal of life is not the elimination of fear. The goal is to muster the moral courage to chase lions.

I'm certainly not suggesting that you jump a fence at your local zoo. Please heed the warning sign on the outside of the lion cage. But I'm concerned that the church has turned into a bunker where we seek shelter when we're actually called to storm the gates of hell. Does that sound safe? I can't imagine a more daring or dangerous mission.

If the truth be told, the alternative to fear is boredom. And boredom isn't just boring. Boredom is inexcusable. Soren Kierkegaard went so far as to say that 'boredom is the root of all evil' because it means we're refusing to be who God made us to be. If you're bored, one thing is for sure: You're not following the footsteps of Christ.

At some point in your life you have to make a choice between fear and boredom.
Lion chasers choose fear."

Dad, Can I Help?

Most of the time when I am doing something Sam will say, "Can I help?" Sometimes it is easier to just do it myself. I often need to put my time line aside and engage him. I won't have these days much longer. The days that he calls me his bestest friend.

Thursday I was carving the turkey. Sam walked up and said, "Dad. Can I help?" No one ever showed me how to carve the meat for any big holiday meal. I was several years into marriage before I mustered the courage to brave meat cutting. It is a something that should be taught and shared. So, I answered, "Sure buddy! Grab a stool!"

Is it Really Comcastic????

We have been without cable television and internet since Monday afternoon. Jean needs the internet to work. And, it also gives her a look into the outside world. Monday afternoon she was told that it was a wide range service interruption. Yesterday morning all of those outages were taken care of, but we still had no cable television or internet. The Sweetpea wasn't happy. The Comcast people said that the soonest they could have someone out is Saturday. We are having Thanksgiving out our house. Hello! There is a game to watch!

Last night when we got back from Moe's I went out with my flashlight and checked the Comcast box by the road. Looked fine. Everything seemed in order where the Bill, the greatest of all transformers, ran the cable line under the deck (it had been on top of the deck for anyone to trip on since before we moved in). I called Comcast and after waiting my obligatory 17 minutes for the customer service person to come on, I explained that neither our cable tv or internet were working. I asked if they could diagnose the problem from there, or if they in anyway could get anyone out before Saturday. She asked, "Did you check the connection at the back or your tv?" I replied, "Now why would the connection at the back of my television cause the connectivity lights on my modem not to blink?" She replied, "I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU SIR!" Okay. Then, yes, I've checked it. She said that she would have someone out between 2 and 5 pm Wednesday. Excellent! And, someone was actually at our house fixing it by noon. The Sweetpea is now happy.

So, How was Seattle?

Seattle was terrific! Jean's blog has a lot of great information about our trip. I will most likely leave a lot of things out, so I won't even attempt to mention all that went on.

We visited the market at Pike's Place Thursday, it got dark early. Friday I interviewed. An hour's worth of writing, followed by a group interview. Then lunch at Anthony's Fish Bar. The afternoon was more just learning about different facets of the school. For dinner we went to Jai Thai for Thai food with several students and prospective students. It was good to know them as people, not just students. The evening wrapped up back at the school with a session by Dan Allender. It was great. Saturday was more learning and listening.

Acceptance letters will go out to prospective students on December 1. If I am accepted, my acceptance may be delayed. All of my application paperwork was sent in back in August with the intention of pursuing a masters of divinity, with my electives being used towards counseling. That evolved into wanting to do a counseling and masters of divinity program at the same time. When I got there I found out that the school had just determined that it was no longer giving the option of doing two programs at one time. I know that God uses me most in a counseling role, so I changed my program choice. Over the weekend they were looking at me as if I were applying for the masters of divinity program. Now, they will need to go back and look at me as a prospective counseling student. That may simply mean the delay of determining my acceptance, I may need to write another essay or two, and/or I may need to go back to Seattle in late winter for another interview.

And It Slipped Away

I went out to the ski hill today to ride what I assumed could be the last outside ride until at least the end of hunting season, perhaps until Feb. 1, and quite possibly until spring. Riding the ski area has proven to be a hard, challenging, awesome course. I was stretching and a guy in a red truck, who works for the ski area, asked if I was going mountain biking. I said yes. He said that I couldn't, that it was closed. I had thought today was the last day to ride since deer hunting season starts tomorrow. Nope. Saturday was the last day. Nuts.

Saturday I did ride with Sherpa and Brick. A great ride with two awesome friends. It was a great day that day. Good ride, great conversation.

But, it has slipped away. Riding this summer has been great and it is very hard to let go. Some great mornings riding alone with God and some very good conversations with him. I got to know some great guys, and got to know some great guys even more. It has been a sport that I hoped would better my physical shape, and it did (I lost 14 lbs. this summer!). The unexpected benefit was how much I would grow spiritually and emotionally by being pushed and challenged by God and by friends. Today is a sad day. Like saying goodbye to a good friend.

Should You Stay or Should You Go

A co-worker of mine sent me this link. Each of us knows it is time to go. The article confirmed just how much it is time for me to go. Wow is it time for me to go!

Thoughts on "I'm Sorry"

Thursday morning I finished reading Deadly Viper: Character Assassins. It was a book that was handed out free this year at Catalyst. It was a good read, and a very quick read. It was written in an Eastern Martial Arts format. Master Po, Grasshopper, and the Assassins that will attempt to defeat a warrior (the most interesting being the assassin of Boom Chicka Wah Wah, simply because now I like to walk around saying, Boom Chicka Wah Wah...). It was more moral than Christian. Yet, if the authors tried to force Christianity into the book, tried to force the correlation between Master Po and God, the book would have been cheesy. I digress...

After work Friday I was pondering the phrase I'm sorry. In one of the book's chapters there were a couple of paragraphs devoted to one of their leader friends who made a point when late for an appointment, in this case a lunch appointment, not to say, Sorry I'm late. It was the traffic. Instead he would say, The traffic was terrible. I'm buying you lunch. Basically a gesture, taking some ownership, of holding up the person he was meeting. Even if it wasn't completely his fault.

It made me think of how easy it is for others, for me, to say, I'm sorry. Yet, that I'm sorry really doesn't cost us anything. I started thinking about how the I'm sorry may be cheapened because it didn't really cost us anything more than the breath to spew those words from our lips.

When Adam and Eve were expelled from the garden, God made Adam and Eve clothes. Their sin caused an animal or several to need to be killed in order for God to make them clothing. There was a cost.

I'm not promoting a victim mentality where if someone hurts you, you take on the attitude of You owe me, and big. That doesn't help. What I am contemplating for me is taking on the attitude of grieving and restitution when someone is frustrated, broken, angry, weary (you get the point) and I was involved, no matter how little control we had over traffic, getting held up by someone else, or whatever. The bottom line is we were involved in hurting someone else. We can't think, eh, it was no big deal. Or, they'll understand. Or, if they don't understand they need to grow up. That attitude is one of saying the other person doesn't matter. How often when I sin do I say an, Sorry God and go on. While God forgives, I have cheapened Christ's death for that sin. I haven't adequately grieved for the hurt I've done and that sin nailing Jesus to the cross. Saying I'm sorry should cost something. Even if it is as simplistic as healthy grief.

Books

Tuesday Greg and I were e-mailing about books. The subject ended up as a post on Greg's blog. Today I was at the bookstore, and a book jumped out at me because of it's cover. The black and yellow cover looked cool.

The book is titled The Danger Habit: how to grow your love of risk into life-changing faith. Seems interesting. The back of the book reads: You've been called adrenaline junkie, thrill seeker, permanently out of the box, extreme, and just plain crazy. And mostly, it's true. Whether you show your radical nature in extreme sports, supercharged business ventures, or high-risk relationships, you have a full-blown danger habit. As far as you can tell, you were born with it. And honestly, you wouldn't have it any other way... Except when your danger habit betrays you. Then your craving for adventure turns into magnet for disaster. You leave a trail of broken commitments and stupid decisions. You get trapped into binding addictions. You hurt the ones you love. And you end up feeling like a mistake. But what if you were created radical for a reason? What if the extreme life God has in mind for you doesn't have to come with a dark side? What if you were built this way for an important, even eternal, mission?

I hope you can judge a book by it's cover! I'll let you know how it goes once I finish Deadly Viper Character Assassins and In the Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day. (For info on those books check out the widget on the right.)

Warning!

After reading Tyler's warning, it hit me. I realize I am alive because someone started a fight with me. I feel the pain. I am alive. Excellent.

Unusual Holidays

If there wasn't already a show called the office, a television show could be made using the characters from the office I work in. We have Mexican day, fun hat day, etc., etc., etc. On the intranet for our office we are told what unusual holiday it is. Today is "Marooned without a compass" day. Cartographers, remember this, NEVER be marooned without your compass! NEVER!

Tandem Cyclocross

Many of you know Brian (the guy in the front in this picture). He manages Village Bike Shop in Cascade, and attends Ada. He and his teammate finished 2nd on Sunday in a race of 12 tandem cyclocross teams. NICE!

What Describes This?

Friday night after work I bought 60 wall pavers at Home Depot. I wasn't sure how I should title this blog... The exhaust was 2" off the ground. It was little difficult to steer at 45 mph, and scary at 55 mph. The picture doesn't begin to show what was going on...

Friendship

I have needed to give up serving in ministry because of needing to focus my attention on getting our house in selling condition.

This "time away" has proven interesting. It is hard going to church because there are places where I see help is needed, mostly in the lives of hurting people, yet I'm up to my armpits in Seattle plans. I dig in where I can, but I can't be there longterm for anyone.

Another interesting thing has been friendships. Some guys I have served with a long time. It is hard because the only time I hear from them is when they have questions about Men's Ministry. There are no questions about how I am really doing. I have served with these guys A LONG time.

But, there are others. Those brothers who check in on my daily because they care about ME. Not about what I can give or do for them. They ask the deep questions about my heart. About where I am struggling. Where my joy is. How my family is dealing with the transition. They have me in mind. That is awesome friendship.

What Does He Want From Us?

from The Ransomed Heart - Daily Readings...

The gospel says that we, who are God’s beloved, created a cosmic crisis. It says we, too, were stolen from our True Love and that he launched the greatest campaign in the history of the world to get us back. God created us for intimacy with him. When we turned our back on him he promised to come for us. He sent personal messengers; he used beauty and affliction to recapture our hearts. After all else failed, he conceived the most daring of plans. Under the cover of night he stole into the enemy’s camp incognito, the Ancient of Days disguised as a newborn. The Incarnation, as Phil Yancey reminds us, was a daring raid into enemy territory. The whole world lay under the power of the evil one and we were held in the dungeons of darkness. God risked it all to rescue us. Why? What is it that he sees in us that causes him to act the jealous lover, to lay siege both on the kingdom of darkness and on our own idolatries as if on Troy—not to annihilate, but to win us once again for himself? This fierce intention, this reckless ambition that shoves all conventions aside, willing literally to move heaven and earth—We’ve been offered many explanations.

From one religious camp we’re told that what God wants is obedience, or sacrifice, or adherence to the right doctrines, or morality. Those are the answers offered by conservative churches. The more therapeutic churches suggest that no, God is after our contentment, or happiness, or self-actualization, or something else along those lines. He is concerned about all these things, of course, but they are not his primary concern. What he is after is us—our laughter, our tears, our dreams, our fears, our heart of hearts. Remember his lament in Isaiah, that though his people were performing all their duties, “their hearts are far from me” (29:13 italics added). How few of us truly believe this. We’ve never been wanted for our heart, our truest self, not really, not for long. The thought that God wants our heart seems too good to be true.

(The Sacred Romance , 90, 91 )

It Will Be Messy

from The Ransomed Heart Daily Readings...

The family is…like a little kingdom, and, like most other little kingdoms, is generally in a state of something resembling anarchy.

Chesterton could have been talking about a little fellowship (our true family, because it is the Family of God). It is a royal mess. I will not whitewash this. It is disruptive. Going to church with hundreds of other people to sit and hear a sermon doesn’t ask much of you. It certainly will never expose you. That’s why most folks prefer it. Because community will. It will reveal where you have yet to become holy, right at the very moment you are so keenly aware of how they have yet to become holy. It will bring you close and you will be seen and you will be known and therein lies the power and therein lies the danger. Aren’t there moments when all those little companies, in all those stories, hang by a thread? Galadriel says to Frodo, “Your quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fail, to the ruin of all. Yet hope remains while the Company is true.”

We’ve experienced incredible disappointments in our fellowship. We have, every last one of us, hurt one another. Sometimes deeply. Last year there was a night when Stasi and I laid out a vision for where we thought things should be going – our life-long dream for redemptive community. We hoped the Company would leap to it with loud “Hurrahs! Hurrah for John and Stasi!” Far from it. Their response was more on the level of blank stares. Our dream was mishandled – badly. Stasi was sick to her stomach; she wanted to leave the room and throw up. I was…stunned. Disappointed. I felt the dive towards a total loss of heart. The following day I could feel my heart being pulled towards resentment. It's moments like that which usually toll the beginning of the end for most attempts at community.

(Waking The Dead ,197 )

Halloween 2007

photo taken by easy bake, er... K Bake...

Promise Me

Tuesday when I came home Jean was hemming Alina's Halloween costume. Alina was going to be an angel. She was so beautiful. I got real close to her, my eyes welling up a bit, and asked her to promise me that she would never grow up. I know that is selfish, and isn't what Jesus intends for her. I just love the way she is and who she is. I know I will continue to love her as she becomes the woman she was created to be. It will be hard to let her go one day.

My Rant

About a month ago I exchanged my dinosaur phone for a Razr. With downsizing for school, it really wouldn't have been a wise choice to switch from Verizon to ATT just to got the more expensive iPhone. The cost of the ATT plan was more for the exact same calling plan. And, even though my first generation iPod died over the summer, a $350 sweet saucy iPhone would have been over the top.

Earlier this week I downloaded "Audacity." It's a free program that lets you record, edit, etc. I downloaded it just to make sweet ringtones. I figured out how to allow my mac to talk to the Razr via bluetooth, etc. I would send a file from my mac, to the Razr. The files were so small, right down to the bit rate, that it should have been an easy thing. One problem. The firmware (Verizon's software) doesn't allow file sharing on Verizon phones. I was sure there was a way around it. I read for days during my downtime at work (read, at least half a day for three straight days) hoping to find a way around it. There isn't. It's Verizon.

The thing that makes me rant isn't that I didn't get a saucy iPhone, or that everything non Apple is such a pain to use. The frustration comes from not being allowed to be creative. Making cool ringtones isn't the point of happiness. Being creative and innovative and problem solving is part of a person being an image bearer. Not being allowed to do that is what makes me frustrated... and rant. Okay. I feel better. Thanks!

A New Month, A New Look

Another Cartographer used to change the look of her blog at the beginning of every month. I think that is a good idea. So, I am going to try that.

Two weeks from today, Jean and I fly to Seattle. We will have Thursday to enjoy and look around. Friday I have my interview at the school, and a lot of other things to experience the school. We take the red eye back Saturday night/Sunday morning, and arrive back in Grand Rapids Sunday about 9:30 am.

The picture above is of Lake Union. In the distance you can see Mt. Rainier. Lake Union is on the map below. It lies between Puget Sound and Lake Washington. It is the first body of water north of the word "Seattle". The second body of water north of the word "Seattle" is Green Lake. We are hoping to live in Bellevue, which is east of Seattle. Though Bellevue is close to the dreaded Microsoft, Bellevue does have one of the best school districts in the area – probably because of all the good people that work at the bad corporation...

Monday's Visitors

Monday afternoon Jean's Aunt Jennifer and Uncle Uel (short for SamUEL) were at our place for dinner. Uel is Jean's dad's brother. They live in Ireland. Sam enjoyed playing soccer with Uel, and Alina enjoyed swimming in the living room, playing house, and all kinds of things with Aunt Jennifer. It was an awesome visit. And, we get to surprise them in Lansing this weekend when we will join most of Jean's siblings' family for a get together.

Pumpkin Decorating

You can decorate your very own pumpkin on-line by clicking here.

Trick or Traet

What Will You Do?

from the Ransomed Heart - Daily Readings

So, let me ask again: How would you live differently, if you believed your heart was the treasure of the kingdom?

What does your heart need? In some sense it’s a personal question, unique to our make-up, and what brings us life. For some its music, for others its reading, for others they must garden. Our friend Lori loves the city; I can’t wait to get out of one. Bart reads articles on flying; Cherie loves a good novel. Bethann loves horses and Gary needs time working in the woodshop. You know what makes your heart refreshed, the things that make you come alive. I don’t get the thing with women and baths, but I know that Stasi loves them and finds a little retreat in a fifteen minute tub. “He leads me to soak in still, bubbly waters.” For me and the boys its the dirtier, the happier.

Yet there are some things all hearts need in common. We need beauty; that’s clear enough from the fact that God has filled the world with it, as he has given us sun and rain,

Wine that gladdens the heart of man,
Oil to make his face shine,
And bread that sustains his heart. (Psalm 104:15)

We need to drink in beauty wherever we can get it – in music, in nature, in art, in a great meal shared. These are all gifts to us from God’s generous heart. Friends, those things are not decorations to a life; they are what brings us life.

(Waking The Dead , 214, 215 )

All in All You're Just Another Brick in the Wall

Saturday the last of the brick came down.

When it is Time to Leave

Dan Reiland is a good friend of a good friend of mine. Dan Reiland writes a column called The Pastor's Coach. This week's column talked about understanding when it was time to leave. It was a great read, and really reaffirming for me. One of the bullet points was titled Pay attention to your inner sense of being released from the work. He said, Being “released” (I don't mean fired) is common language but sometimes difficult to know for sure. When God starts to release you from a ministry, He begins to disengage your heart, lift the burden, and your sense of ownership begins to fade. It's not that you no longer care about the people, but no matter how you slice it, you don't feel the same as you once did. The reason this is difficult is because we all have some of those thoughts from time to time on a temporary basis. When God releases you, it is a permanent thing, and you know you are done.

This summer I had that release while hiking to prepare for the Epic Journey: Walk the River backpacking trips that took place this summer. It was a good conversation with God about where He wanted to take me. It was a conversation. I had a lot of hard questions when I began to realize God was asking me to release the ministry I was entrenched in. What would my life be? Wasn't I doing what God had made me to do? Something I was holding onto so tightly needed to be let go of. God knew that.

God has been very good to me in that some awesome men have entered my life and walked beside me. Sometimes, the number grew by the day. But, there is that small, inner circle of guys that have my heart, and I have theirs. But, that isn't the release the article was talking about. He wasn't referring to the release of the beautiful friendships. He was talking about the release from a job in a ministry. I loved what I did in ministry, but God released me. My brothers have also released me from that ministry, but they have not released me from relationship. They are good men who love me. Despite the log in my eye.

Ask God

from the Ransomed Heart - Daily Readings

Peter was one of Jesus’ closest friends, one of only three that were invited into his innermost circle. In Gethsemane, at his hour of greatest need, Jesus again took Peter aside, poured his heart out to him; he looked to Peter for strength. Three years of this, and who knows how many other stories. Peter must have known, I have a special place in Jesus’ heart. So, how do you suppose Peter felt after he denied Christ – not just once, but three times? It must have been devastating.

After the resurrection, Jesus is on the beach with Peter and the others. It’s a touching reunion. Following a night of lousy fishing, Christ yells out to the guys to let their nets down for a catch – just as he did that morning he first called them three years earlier. Again, their nets are bursting with the load. Just like the good old days. Peter leaps from the boat and swims to Christ. They have breakfast together. Reunited, laughing about the catch, relaxed, warmed by the fire and stuffed from breakfast, Jesus then turns to Peter.

When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.” Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me?” He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.” The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.” (John 21:15-17)

What a beautiful story. Notice first that Christ does not let Peter sweep the whole matter under the rug. If this issue doesn’t get addressed, it will haunt the old fisherman for the rest of his life. No, this must be spoken to. Most of us simply try and “put things behind us,” get past it, forget the pain as quickly as we can. Really – denial is a favorite method of coping. But not with Jesus. He wants truth in the inmost being, and to get it there he’s got to take us into our inmost being. One way he’ll do this is by bringing up an old memory. You’ll be driving down the road and suddenly remember something from your childhood. Or maybe you’ll have a dream about a long-forgotten person, or event, or place. However he brings it up, go with him there. He has something to say to you.

(Waking The Dead , 120-122 )

A Prophet, A Priest, and a King

Most of my reading lately has been while doing a stair step machine or riding my bike on a stationary trainer in the mechanical room of our basement between 6 a.m. and 7 a.m. Yesterday morning I finished Leading with a Limp by Dan Allender.

The premise of the book is that leaders lead most effectively when they have disclosed their failures to the ones they lead. Not to win sympathy. To free yourself and to free others.

There were several parts of the book that moved me. That shook me. That brought back pain and opened up wounds from my own story. The fact that in sharing your story with others can many times lead to people wanting to manipulate you or use your story against you.

The last chapter, in particular, was the most interesting. It is titled Three Leaders You Can't Do Without: Why You Need a Prophet, a Priest, and a King. Many times in a group, organization, job place, etc. There are people who play one of those three roles. Sometimes a person may play two of those three roles.

A king builds infrastructure for the needs of his people and protect them from harm. As he works for a fair and just society, an king juggles crises, decision making, allocating resources, talent development, and issues of survival and growth. (p. 189)

A priest helps create meaning for the people in her organization through story. Storytelling is neither just an entertaining pastime nor just an interesting way of communicating facts or values... A story is not just interesting; it actually delineates how to live. (p. 191) A priest uses symbols and helps the body connect to the soul through the physicality of worship.

Most people want to grow, but the price of growth is pain. A grapevine will not produce excellent wine grapes until it is pruned. It is the way of all growth and excellence: submission to pain through discipline is the only route to maturity... As a representative of discipline, a prophet is an odd interplay of coach, poet, visionary, and therapist. He disrupts the paradigm of comfort and complacency. But when he shouts at me, he also invites me to desire and dream of redemption. When he comforts me with the vision of what will one day be my future, he calls me to create it with a commitment to honesty, care, and justice. (If he were not a prophet but a good priest, he would tell me a bedtime story and comfort me. He might even bring me a cup of hot cocoa.) But, a prophet is a far cry from a priest. The odd presence cries out, invites, and keeps telling me to move. A prophet exposes our turn to indulgence and self-congratulation. He points out our self-righteousness and underscores the evidence that our current condition is not true, good, or lovely. And, often, in order to expose the unrighteousness of the current way of being, he allows himself to be a fool. A prophet exposes what is not right in part by arousing the dreams of redemption. She poetically touches ache for what is not and calls forth a vision of what will come. A prophet is more a poet than a rabble-rouser, and her poetry often contains dense metaphors and complex symbols to tap into the deepest parts of the heart... It's no surprise, then, that the prophet-poet-disrupter is often shunned as being too weird or eccentric. To normal people, a prophet may be intriguing but unpredictable and dangerous. So often prophets are not welcome in "normal" company; instead they find solace in communities of prophets who are notorious for being self-absorbed and destructive... They want to challenge the status quo of the king and the priest. As a result prophets are often killed or sent into exile. And it's easy to understand why. Few people want their lives disrupted by visions, poems, and stories that wreak havok on the comforts of daily life. (pp. 194-196). Dan also notes that typically prophets do not come from happy homes.

Can you guess which I am? I am a prophet. To a lesser degree a king. And to a very small degree a priest.

The interesting thing, as a leader I am, and you are, called to be all three. Because Jesus is all three. It flies in the face of "playing to our strength" leadership advice, yet the paradox is that we may, in our family life, as we play a role in a ministry, workplace, or organization, mostly use our strengths. Yet, in the wild humor of God, He will use our strengths to get us into situations where our weaknesses are exposed and used for his glory. Because Jesus is a King, a Priest, and a Prophet, we are called to be as well. We will, and must, continue growth in each area.

Leaders also need to make room for all three dimensions in the space of their souls. It may sound like I'm actually suggesting that you become a haunted and deeply divided person. But actually, we are often called to fulfill all three offices – to disrupt complacency, to bring comfort to heartache, and to direct others to life – in one sermon or a single counseling session. We must, therefore, create space in our organizations and in ourselves for this kind of rich, creative complexity. (p. 197) Broken and limping leaders need one another. The king left alone will become a dictator who hates chaos. The priest on his own will fall into accommodation for the sake of avoiding conflict. A prophet alone will indulge in drama and self-absorption for the sake of escaping boredom. They need one another to elude the trap of their own narcissism. (p. 198)

It Must Be Intimate

This is the very thing God has blessed me with, an awesome group of men that fight for each other, not against each other. Guys that are all about encouraging each other on in their character development in this amazing story.

from The Ransomed Heart - Daily Readings e-mail...

Of course, small groups have become a part of the programming most churches offer their people. For the most part, they are disappointing and short-lived – by the very admission of those who try them. There are two reasons. One, you can’t just throw a random group of people together for a twelve week study of some kind, and expect them to become intimate allies. The sort of devotion we want and need takes place within a shared life. Over the years our fellowship goes camping together. We play together; help one another move; paint a room; find work. We throw great parties. We fight for each other, live in the Four Streams. This is how it was meant to be.is completely normal.

I love this description of the early church: “All the believers were one in heart” (Acts 4:32 ). There is a camaraderie being expressed there, a bond, an espri de corps. It means they all love the same thing, they all want the same thing, and they are bonded together to find it come hell or high water. And hell or high water will come, friends, and this will be the test of whether or not your band will make it: If you are one in heart. Judas betrayed the brothers because his heart was never really with them, just as Cipher betrays the company on the Nebuchadnezzar and as Boromir betrays the fellowship of the Ring. Good Lord – churches split over the size of the parking lot or the color of the carpet. Most churches are not “one in heart.”is completely normal.

God is calling together little communities of the heart, to fight for one another and for the hearts of those who have not yet been set free. That commeraderie, that intimacy, that incredible impact by a few stouthearted souls – that is available. It is the Christian life as Jesus gave it to us. It is completely normal.

(Waking The Dead ,193, 203 )

The Best Soccer Day

This past Saturday was the last soccer game for Sam's team. They had the earliest game, 8:30 am. The two teams seemed to be more evenly matched. Sam played goalie the first quarter and didn't give up any goals.

In the second quarter Sam moved to forward. One of the other players on Sam's team scored a goal, which was immediately answered by the opposing team. Later in the quarter Sam scored a goal from WAY out. It was awesome! Sam's response was great. He acted as if it was no big deal. And lined up for the kickoff. At half time I ran out and gave him a big hug and told him how proud I was of him.

Sam set out the third quarter, but went in on defense for the fourth quarter. Defense is Sam's favorite position, after goalie. Kevin, another boy on Sam's team, played goalie for the fourth quarter. In the past Kevin has given up A LOT of goals. A LOT. Sam's team was ahead 2-1 going into the last quarter of the season. Kevin never played better at goalie. He used his hands to stop balls. He got the ball out quickly on goal kicks. Sam, playing defense, got the ball while he was over the midfield line and kicked another goal, making it 3-1. That was the final score.

I had been praying for the last few weeks that Sam would be able to score a goal. Not to boost his ego or make anyone feel bad, but to just know the feeling of scoring. God was good. Maybe God allowed the goal more for my experience than Sam's. Sam didn't really care that he scored. He was simply glad his team one. More importantly he was glad that he got a medal, just like the rest of his teammates. He wore it proudly the rest of the day. We had to plead with him to call papa and nana, and grandma. He really didn't want to. He is shy about that kind of attention. When I dialed the numbers for him he modestly told his listeners that he scored two goals, but then was excited to tell them that he got a medal that was shiny. Oh Sam.

Kid Rock's Waffle House Fracas

Copied from original headline.

Kid Rock spent most of Sunday in jail after he got into a scuffle with a man outside a suburban Atlanta waffle house, cops said.

The rocker, whose real name is Robert Ritchie, and five members of his entourage were charged with simple battery after the predawn fight with a man police identified as Harlen Akins. The fracas erupted as Kid Rock and his crew pulled up at the Waffle House restaurant about 5:15 a.m. after a gig at The Tabernacle in Atlanta.

Akins, 39, got into a shouting match with a female friend who was accompanying Kid Rock's posse and then got into a physical fight, police said.

Akins allegedly broke a window at the restaurant and suffered cuts from flying glass that required treatment at a local hospital.

Kid Rock, 36, and his pals jumped into their tour bus and drove off, but cops said they stopped the bus nearby and arrested them. Akins was charged with felony criminal mischief. Kid Rock and his pals were hit with misdemeanors. The singer walked out of the DeKalb County jail after putting up bond - and signed autographs as he walked back to his bus.

More Job Hunting

Today is another dull day at the desk with the big map with 850 blue pins.

I am again looking for Seattle employment opportunities. I ventured outside of the normal Craigslist ads and started typing in random things that I like to do in hopes that I can find a job doing one of those random things. I stumbled across this Urban Ops 3 day training adventure. Not that I am qualified to work there, but perhaps when a group of you come out we can work that into our time together.

First, Know What and What is Not the Evil Empire

I frequently browse various job sites, Craigslist, etc., to see what jobs are available for a cartographer in Seattle. Today I was looking on Craigslist under the Customer Service heading. One listing was shown as "Brown Paper Tickets" so I clicked the link. The ad began, Hi! Brown Paper Tickets is the first and only free-trade ticketing service. We are the grassroots rival to Ticketmaster, and we need your help to overturn the evil empire! It went on to describe what skills the successful candidate must possess. The very, very first qualification insisted that the applicant be Proficient with Windows XP, sending and receiving e-mail, working with a multiple-line phone system, and other computer savvy projects as they come your way.

The very problem here is that Microsoft, not Ticketmaster, is the evil empire. Wake up people!

Truck hits Port-a-Potty in Ottawa County: Man inside

This is from WZZM Channel 13's Website...

Created: 10/17/2007 7:09:11 PM

Updated: 10/18/2007 8:38:34 AM

Ottawa County - A man who was using a Port-a-John when it was knocked over by a garbage truck is recovering from minor injuries.

It happened Wednesday at a construction site in Blendon Township.

The garbage truck was turning when the back end hit the portable toilet knocking it over on its side with the man inside. The man was able to get out on his own.

He was taken to the hospital with shoulder pain.

Project Mayhem

Wikipedia gives a brief synopsis of Project Mayhem. "As the fight club's membership grows (and, unbeknownst to the narrator, spreads to other cities across the country), Tyler begins to use it to spread anti-consumerist ideas and recruits its members to participate in increasingly elaborate attacks on corporate America. This was originally the narrator's idea, but Tyler takes control from him. Tyler eventually gathers the most devoted fight club members (referred to as "space monkeys") and forms 'Project Mayhem', a cult-like organization that trains itself as an army to bring down modern civilization."

Last night, Johnny Sherpa planned Project Mayhem for my house. He recruited a bunch of guys to move bricks and debris, remove more bricks from the front of the house, and to rebuild the inner structure of the wall that was damaged. The men humbled me by their unselfishness to do a lot of grunt labor, and their willingness to show an act of love to me and my family. These are a group of men I am proud to love and call my brothers. Not because of what they do for me, but because they would do this for anyone.

Exploring The Hidden Questions of Our Heart

from The Ransomed Heart - Daily Readings e-mail...

It is possible to recover the lost life of our heart and with it the intimacy, beauty, and adventure of life with God. To do so we must leave what is familiar and comfortable—perhaps even parts of the religion in which we have come to trust—and take a journey. This journey first takes us on a search for the lost life of our heart, and for the voice that once called us in those secret places; those places and times when our heart was still with us. The pilgrimage of the heart leads us to remember together what it was that first engaged us in deep ways as children: “. . . anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it,” said Jesus (Mark 10:15).

Our journey will take us to explore the hidden questions of our heart, born out of the stories of our lives. It is only by leaving home and taking a pilgrimage that we will begin to see how our own stories are interwoven with the great Romance God has been telling since before the dawn of time. It is on this pilgrimage that we begin to see that each of us has a part in the cosmic love affair that was created specifically with us in mind. Last, this pilgrimage brings us to the destination, set within all of our hearts, which in some way we have known, longed for, and been haunted by since we were children.

...Our journey begins by asking questions, putting words to the movements of the heart. “What is this restlessness and emptiness I feel, sometimes long years into my Christian journey? What does the spiritual life have to do with the rest of my life? What is it that is set so deeply in my heart, experienced as a longing for adventure and romance, that simply will not leave me alone? Does it have anything to do with God? What is it that he wants from me? Has he been speaking to me through my heart all along? When did I stop listening? When did his voice first call to me?”

(The Sacred Romance, 10,11)

Soccer

Saturday was an interesting soccer game. Sam played goalie for the first quarter and the third quarter. Even though he was scored on three times in the first quarter, he did an amazing job. A 6 year old can only make so many saves when the ball never seems to leave the goal area.

An interesting part of the game was when the ref came over to our coach and said, "please quit harassing me." Yeah, our coach was on him. Yeah, the ref is probably 17 and doesn't "teach" much on the field (as these kids are only 6 and 7). Yeah, the ref misses most of the calls. He, like us, is probably glad that there is one week left to the season. I bet he hates us.

Even though our team was beaten royally - I lost count after it was 8 to 0 - I was so proud of Sam. He played so hard.

Happy Birthday Nana!

Yesterday was Jean's mom's birthday. Jean's mom and dad came up for dinner, and were gracious enough to bring my mom. They got out of the van, and I could see the look of horror on each of their faces. Each of them looked very, very disturbed. It was because of the exterior of our house... I think Nana had a happy birthday anyway...

My Day Off So Far

We are selling our house soon. The brick on our house has issues. Well, much of our house has issues, but that is another story. The front steps have been pulling away from the house since we've owned it, which has pulled the brick retaining wall away from the house. Some water has also gotten behind the brickwork on the front of the house. I am not sure which came first, the water behind the brick or the steps pulling away from the house. I think it is the steps pulling away from the house. The step raiser people are still another 2 weeks out. I can't really do much more in terms of repair, or destruction for that matter, until the steps are raised. back into place to halt their sinking and pulling.