Late. Again.

When my dad died, my plane landed in Tampa just one hour after he died from cancer. I got the call from Jean when the plane landed and we were able to turn on our phones that he had passed.

Right now, I'm feeling late. Again.

The man that had fathered me through my college years passed away yesterday of cancer. My father-in-law went to visit him yesterday. Chet asked about me, and my father-in-law promised to bring me to see him when we got to Michigan. But, he died yesterday afternoon. Damn. I did, though, receive a call to be a pallbearer at his funeral on Saturday. It will be an honor. But, still. It sucks.

When It Was Coming to an End

When it was coming to an end last night, I was feeling sad. Not because the Spartans had little hope of coming back, but because the tournament was coming to an end. My son cuddled next to me and my daughter cuddled next to me. Talking about "baxetball," heroics, and life.

But, as last night closed, more adventures and talks await for us. I just enjoyed those cozy times.

My Blood Runs Green and White Tonight

Tonight we'll be cheering for Michigan State during the national championship game. Not just because we are from Michigan. The reasons are much deeper than that.

My maternal grandfather went to MSU when it was still named MAC (Michigan Agricultural College).

There are a lot of boyhood memories on campus. The star shows at the planetarium. Bell concerts at Beaumont Tower. MSU basketball in the days of Magic Johnson, and football games. During my senior year of high school, while other kids were at parties, my friend Ethan and I were on the third floor of Michigan State's library looking at topographical maps.

My undergraduate degree, with three major changes, is from Michigan State University.

My first date with Jean was at Michigan State where we saw an outdoor summer play. Michigan State is where I first attempted to tell Jean I loved her. Beaumont Tower on campus is where I proposed, and she accepted.

For many reasons, my blood runs green and white tonight.

Broken Teeth

Yesterday I rode with Sam on the trail near our house. I was frustrated out of the gate because the chain would jump off of the front middle chain ring. Grrrrrrr... I rode anyway, and made a couple of stops to try and "fix it," thinking it was more of an adjustment issue. This morning I tossed it up on the work stand and realized it was more than just an adjustment issue, and more than just a build up of grease that would prevent the chain from setting correctly. Broken teeth. One tooth was completely missing, and three others were broken/worn at the tip. It is understandable. It is the chain ring that gets used the most. And, it had seen a lot of very good days.

Can you find the missing tooth?

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year...

It IS the most wonderful time of the year! BIKE SEASON!

I just finished getting my bike ready. I started installing from easiest to hardest:

• New Seat
• New frame mounted pump
• New rear cogset
• New chain
• New brake caliper
• New front and rear brake cables
• New front and rear shifter cables

The shifter cables scared me to death, especially the rear. But, since the limits were set well on the high and low set screws, it was a pretty simple job. And, I'm proud of how easily it went.

Now, tomorrow, if the rains hold off, Sam and I are headed out for the first trail ride of the year. Probably nothing too difficult. Probably over to St. Edwards just to get the blood flowing in the legs and air in the lungs. Sam got a new bike for his birthday, the lightest frame made for his size. It's 8 lbs. lighter than his previous bike, and it's a better quality bike. It should make for much more enjoyable rides for Sam.

x•PLOY•t-Ed

Monday I had coffee with David, then a couple hours later with Paul. Okay, they had coffee, I had my usual – a white hot chocolate. David was my practicum facilitator first semester. Paul is MHGS's Field Abbot.

Both men told me, at completely different meetings, how good I looked. My response to Paul was, "Wow. I must have looked like crap before."

I doubt that their comments on how good I looked had nothing to do with my physical weight loss. I had on my longer overcoat. I doubt it had anything to do with my super-cool haircut.

Maybe looking good had something to do with the look in my eyes. I think the glaze that had covered my eyes is disappearing. And I can see a little better, and be seen a little better.

And, with seeing better, I am able to stand a little longer in the presence of past abuse. Last night in counseling we spent a long time facing what it was like to be groomed by a predator, and touching the pain of being abused and exploited. It is hard being in the presence of the frustration and disappointment I have at myself. That I didn't fight for myself and let the abuse and exploitation continue for so long. But, Mary wouldn't let me wallow in that filth. She invited me to sit in the place where I was courageous. Where I did stand strong in bringing an end to the abuse and exploitation against me.