No, But I know Kevin Baker.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Where Meriwether Walked
Walking downtwon St. Louis Sunday
afternoon I couldn't help but think that this is the soil that Meriwether Lewis walked before he, William Clark, and a crew of men embarked for the greatest adventure ever.
afternoon I couldn't help but think that this is the soil that Meriwether Lewis walked before he, William Clark, and a crew of men embarked for the greatest adventure ever.
Seeing Old Friends
John and I have been friends for a long, long time. We have hiked Canada together and the Rockies together. We spent most of our free time together. Leadership team, music, talking trips, playing volleyball, and on the list could go. He went with me to pick up Jean's engagement ring the day that I proposed to her, then on the way back he prayed for me. We were in each others' weddings. He was my best man in our wedding.Over the weekend we were specially invited to come surprise him for his 40th birthday. It was priceless. We arrived while they were at the store. We waited for them on their front porch. He was so shocked that we came all that way just to see him. It was good to see him. To hear about the journey he is on. It was good to laugh and remember and tell new stories together. It was also good to make that John smirk return to his face, and restore the twinkle in his eye that I hadn't seen during the past few visits. It was good to see my friend, and honor him.
A Place For the Books
In my home office I had 
these two white bookcases along one wall. One was tall, one was short. Together, they couldn't hold all of the books I like to keep at my fingertips. The important ones. The not so important ones. The ones that I like to pull quotes from, or suggest for others to read. So I built the mother of all bookshelves. I put the last coat of stain on it just before we left for St. Louis. Monday night I began filling it. I have pulled out books that were demoted to being placed in boxes in the basement. And, there is still room for more. For now...
these two white bookcases along one wall. One was tall, one was short. Together, they couldn't hold all of the books I like to keep at my fingertips. The important ones. The not so important ones. The ones that I like to pull quotes from, or suggest for others to read. So I built the mother of all bookshelves. I put the last coat of stain on it just before we left for St. Louis. Monday night I began filling it. I have pulled out books that were demoted to being placed in boxes in the basement. And, there is still room for more. For now...
Saturday, November 18, 2006
So, Boot Camp...
Boot 
camp was awesome. The setting was breathtaking. The facilities were rustically first class. The sessions were full of heart healing material. And getting to be there with Kevin was sweet. We enjoyed life together as we always do together. It was good to go even deeper in sharing our stories.
I had thought everything was healed in me. I thought I was at Boot Camp just to learn and glean, and take something back for the other men that I have the honor of caring for. God had other ideas...
Friday I met a man in who always sat in our row whose name is Les.
He asked me a lot of questions. He asked about my kids. Saturday morning he came in to session and said that I had been on his heart. He said that reason for my kids' names was moving, and the little I shared about my dad was moving, that my story was similar to his. He wanted to get together and hear my entire story. We agreed to meet after lunch.
When we got together he said, "Ed. I want to be up front with you. I am on the Intercessor team. Normally we aren't supposed to approach people. People are supposed to approach us. But, God has really laid you on my heart." That was cool. I had no problem with that. I proceeded to tell him my story.
At the end, he honestly said, "Ed. I think you need to repent. I don't think you like that little boy that you were." I told him that he was probably right.
I left our time together and wal
ked up the mountain. During my walk I asked God to reveal to me what may have happened, who may have wounded me to the point where I didn't like that little boy. All I could think of was my Grandma. She was a mean woman who seemed like she didn't know how to love. I knew that my Grandma didn't know any better. That didn't seem to be the cause.
I found a spot just up passed the horse coral. I laid in the sun and just kept praying for God to reveal scenes from my childhood as to what may have happened to cause me not to love that little boy. He brought to mind a picture of me when I was 2, dressed up as a clown for halloween. I smiled at the memory of that picture, and thought, "What a cute kid!"
I continued to ask God to reveal. He did. He brought to mind a time when I was 4. A scene from my life I remember well, but never gave much value to for its power in my overall story. I was with my dad and one of his buddies at the mall Christmas shopping. My dad said, "You better behave yourself or I am taking you to your Grandma's." I made sure I was on my best behavior. He said it again. I wondered what I was doing wrong. I thought I was being good. I kept trying as hard as I could. My dad said, "Okay. I am calling Grandma." He called her from a pay phone and then took me over there. I remember him pulling away. My Grandma said, "Really, he just wants to go Christmas shopping for you." That never sunk in. Maybe he did, or maybe he just wanted to go to the bar with his buddy. The memory that stuck with me is, "I can't do anything good enough for my dad to want to hang out with me." That thought attached itself to me and I carried it with me. Always.
God met me and healed me. Jesus assured me that I was good enough. He died for me. Satan did his best to tell me, "You're nothing special, Jesus died for everyone." True. He did. But, Jesus reminded me that I was an heir of The Father. It was a time of healing. Good Good.
So. Last week. God whispers, "Where is your voice?" Huh? It is like when He said to Adam in the Garden, "Where are you?" God knew where Adam was, and He knows where my voice is. But, He wanted me to find where my voice is. I knew what He was getting at. He wants deeper conversations with me. And, not just partial thought blips to him. Complete conversation, and out loud. He wants to hear my voice cry out to him. But, part of this journey of His question was to understand why I had no voice. After several days, He reminded me of what time was like with my dad. As a little boy, I would go for rides with my dad. After 20 minutes, the rest of our time was silent. Even as I got older, after my parents' divorce, I would ride with him up to his cottage at Houghton Lake. All of our conversation took place in the first hour of the two hour drive up there. And, that was pretty much all of the conversation that would take place for the weekend. God was telling me, unlike my dad, He wants to hear me. He desires me to cry out the deep things of my heart. It has been good to do.
But, this voice has not just been for my freedom. It has been for Jean's as well. This week I was able to unsheath my sword and pray on her behalf with my hand on her heart with passion for Satan and the spirit of inadequacy to leave Jean, and for Jesus to fill her with His love and to affirm in her that Jesus has made her beautifully.
camp was awesome. The setting was breathtaking. The facilities were rustically first class. The sessions were full of heart healing material. And getting to be there with Kevin was sweet. We enjoyed life together as we always do together. It was good to go even deeper in sharing our stories.I had thought everything was healed in me. I thought I was at Boot Camp just to learn and glean, and take something back for the other men that I have the honor of caring for. God had other ideas...
Friday I met a man in who always sat in our row whose name is Les.
He asked me a lot of questions. He asked about my kids. Saturday morning he came in to session and said that I had been on his heart. He said that reason for my kids' names was moving, and the little I shared about my dad was moving, that my story was similar to his. He wanted to get together and hear my entire story. We agreed to meet after lunch.When we got together he said, "Ed. I want to be up front with you. I am on the Intercessor team. Normally we aren't supposed to approach people. People are supposed to approach us. But, God has really laid you on my heart." That was cool. I had no problem with that. I proceeded to tell him my story.
At the end, he honestly said, "Ed. I think you need to repent. I don't think you like that little boy that you were." I told him that he was probably right.
I left our time together and wal
ked up the mountain. During my walk I asked God to reveal to me what may have happened, who may have wounded me to the point where I didn't like that little boy. All I could think of was my Grandma. She was a mean woman who seemed like she didn't know how to love. I knew that my Grandma didn't know any better. That didn't seem to be the cause.I found a spot just up passed the horse coral. I laid in the sun and just kept praying for God to reveal scenes from my childhood as to what may have happened to cause me not to love that little boy. He brought to mind a picture of me when I was 2, dressed up as a clown for halloween. I smiled at the memory of that picture, and thought, "What a cute kid!"
I continued to ask God to reveal. He did. He brought to mind a time when I was 4. A scene from my life I remember well, but never gave much value to for its power in my overall story. I was with my dad and one of his buddies at the mall Christmas shopping. My dad said, "You better behave yourself or I am taking you to your Grandma's." I made sure I was on my best behavior. He said it again. I wondered what I was doing wrong. I thought I was being good. I kept trying as hard as I could. My dad said, "Okay. I am calling Grandma." He called her from a pay phone and then took me over there. I remember him pulling away. My Grandma said, "Really, he just wants to go Christmas shopping for you." That never sunk in. Maybe he did, or maybe he just wanted to go to the bar with his buddy. The memory that stuck with me is, "I can't do anything good enough for my dad to want to hang out with me." That thought attached itself to me and I carried it with me. Always.
God met me and healed me. Jesus assured me that I was good enough. He died for me. Satan did his best to tell me, "You're nothing special, Jesus died for everyone." True. He did. But, Jesus reminded me that I was an heir of The Father. It was a time of healing. Good Good.
So. Last week. God whispers, "Where is your voice?" Huh? It is like when He said to Adam in the Garden, "Where are you?" God knew where Adam was, and He knows where my voice is. But, He wanted me to find where my voice is. I knew what He was getting at. He wants deeper conversations with me. And, not just partial thought blips to him. Complete conversation, and out loud. He wants to hear my voice cry out to him. But, part of this journey of His question was to understand why I had no voice. After several days, He reminded me of what time was like with my dad. As a little boy, I would go for rides with my dad. After 20 minutes, the rest of our time was silent. Even as I got older, after my parents' divorce, I would ride with him up to his cottage at Houghton Lake. All of our conversation took place in the first hour of the two hour drive up there. And, that was pretty much all of the conversation that would take place for the weekend. God was telling me, unlike my dad, He wants to hear me. He desires me to cry out the deep things of my heart. It has been good to do.
But, this voice has not just been for my freedom. It has been for Jean's as well. This week I was able to unsheath my sword and pray on her behalf with my hand on her heart with passion for Satan and the spirit of inadequacy to leave Jean, and for Jesus to fill her with His love and to affirm in her that Jesus has made her beautifully.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Math, Wrist Rockets, Spit Wads, and Capture the Flag
Last night was fun. Sam and I got
our wrist rockets and out and played capture the flag. Inside. Instead of using paint balls, we used spit wads. It was SO fun! I haven't seen Sam get so into something for weeks. The strategy, the ambush, the hunt. He loved it. I loved it. It was great. Jean and Alina even got in on the action. Jean kept Sam supplied with amo. Alina followed me around looking beautiful. Sometime she put Sam's red face mask on to be Spider-Man. Sam's teacher wants Sam to continue practicing counting backwards from 20. So, to start the game, Jean had Sam start counting backwards from 20. At zero, he came gunning for me. A good, good night.
our wrist rockets and out and played capture the flag. Inside. Instead of using paint balls, we used spit wads. It was SO fun! I haven't seen Sam get so into something for weeks. The strategy, the ambush, the hunt. He loved it. I loved it. It was great. Jean and Alina even got in on the action. Jean kept Sam supplied with amo. Alina followed me around looking beautiful. Sometime she put Sam's red face mask on to be Spider-Man. Sam's teacher wants Sam to continue practicing counting backwards from 20. So, to start the game, Jean had Sam start counting backwards from 20. At zero, he came gunning for me. A good, good night.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Almost Governor
Howard is my friend. Howard is a great man. Unfortunately, I had to give him condolences this morning for not being elected Governor of Michigan. Let me explain...Yesterday morning I had to leave the house early for a breakfast meeting. Yesterday was also election day. I set out Jean's voter registration card for her on her computer before I left. Later in the morning Sam found it and asked Jean what it was for. Jean explained it was so that she could vote, like for the Governor. Sam replied, "You mean like for Howard?"
Howard would be a good Governor. He is a good, good man. Maybe in 2010 my friend!
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
The Biggest Stuffed Animal
On Monday nights Jean has Bible Study with her ladies. For me, it is a fun night with the kids. Pillow fights, stories, games, slay the dragon, all sorts of wild fun.
Last night Sam and Alina got to stay up a
little later than they normally do. Alina fell right to sleep. Sam came downstairs to tell me that his Polar Express CD was making a funny noise. He watched a couple of possessions of Monday Night Football with me. I knew he was passed tired. He didn't want to go upstairs alone. He is at a point in his age where he will usually go back to bed by himself. Sometimes it takes a small amount of coaxing. Last night he needed a bit more coaxing. I convinced him that Alina was there, and that there were plenty of lights on. He wanted to go sleep in Alina's bed, which he has never done before. I told him he needed to fall asleep in his own bed, especially because his room had a lamp on, and Alina's didn't.
When Jean got home she woke me up on the couch and told me that I needed to come see what was in Alina's bed. The big lump in her bed didn't phase me at first because she always puts lots of things in her bed to sleep with. Then I realized it was Sam. His bunny is on her head in the picture. I picked him up to carry him to bed and he was talking in his sleep the entire time.
Last night Sam and Alina got to stay up a
little later than they normally do. Alina fell right to sleep. Sam came downstairs to tell me that his Polar Express CD was making a funny noise. He watched a couple of possessions of Monday Night Football with me. I knew he was passed tired. He didn't want to go upstairs alone. He is at a point in his age where he will usually go back to bed by himself. Sometimes it takes a small amount of coaxing. Last night he needed a bit more coaxing. I convinced him that Alina was there, and that there were plenty of lights on. He wanted to go sleep in Alina's bed, which he has never done before. I told him he needed to fall asleep in his own bed, especially because his room had a lamp on, and Alina's didn't.When Jean got home she woke me up on the couch and told me that I needed to come see what was in Alina's bed. The big lump in her bed didn't phase me at first because she always puts lots of things in her bed to sleep with. Then I realized it was Sam. His bunny is on her head in the picture. I picked him up to carry him to bed and he was talking in his sleep the entire time.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Handing Out Pork Rinds for Halloween Treats
My friend Kevin gave me this cartoon clipping. He and I have shared some good talks over a bag of pork rinds. In his defense, after a bad sinus infection he can barely taste. Tuesday, Halloween, I hung out with him over a fire in his driveway while handing out candy and sharing some great conversation while Jean was en route from the Ferrai's and visiting Becky at her job at the hospital.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
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