Tears

The best part of my education so far has been the requirement to see a therapist.

When I've seen counselors at other points in my life I went in with the attitude of "Let's get this resolved as soon as possible so that I can be 'fixed,' so that I can be seen as normal."

As part of my schooling all MACP students are required to be in counseling for a minimum of 40 hours. At first, my reaction to this requirement was, "Really??? Are you kidding me??? I just want to get through the program. I don't need this!!" And, especially since this was the first year that seeing a therapist became mandatory for Counseling Psychology students. 40 hours is nine months.

But, it has been good. Really good. Feeling is something that I've never done. Now, I'm starting to thaw. Tears come. Regularly. It's new to me. And, it's really a scary experience because it is such a new experience. Being forced to sit in the things I've tried to ignore or blow past. It is so hard. It is unsettling. It is unnerving. It is my reality. And, knowing that I am no where close to 40 hours allows me not to be focused on hurrying healing, but simply forced to embrace each emotion that washes me.