Coming Home

Last night I walked in the door after class and saw this . . .































Which, was pretty surprising in and of it self because I didn't know Moose knew how to lay anywhere else than on someone's lap.

And, who wouldn't love this face?





















I also came across this boy with funny teeth in his mouth. . .

First Basket

On Saturday Sam scored his first basket. You'll hear Alina on the video saying that all the cheering hurt her ears, but we were SO excited for Sam! I love how Sam runs up the floor afterward, sets his sight on his man for defense, then looks over at us and gives a big smile!

Stafford and Moose

We headed to Petsmart yesterday afternoon for a new fish to replace Geoffrey. But, we got sidetracked, as we always do when we go to Petsmart, by the kitties that are for adoption there by the Arlington, WA humane society. And, while we were looking at the kitties, I fell in love with a big cat by the name of Moose. Mind you, I am really not a cat person. Maybe it is because my first cat, Barber Shop, ran away after we moved when I was 5 (that will need to be talked about in therapy!).

Most cats had their weight listed (i.e., "Sting," 9 lbs., 14 oz.). Moose's size was simply listed as "Large." But, we weren't able to pet him until the volunteer came to the store to exercise the cats. So, while we waited, Sam picked out his new fish––"Stafford." Stafford is named after Matthew Stafford, the quarterback of the Detroit Lions. Stafford is a stunningly beautiful blue fish. And, fortunately, seems a bit livelier than Geoffrey did when we bought him.

And then, finally, the volunteer arrived. We got to spend time with Moose. Well, mostly I did. He was a big guy, and a lap cat––which is perhaps why he is such a big guy. We decided that we would adopt him. The kids and Jean would take a kitty anytime, but Moose stole my heart. We had to come back to Petsmart between 6 and 8pm to fill out the adoption paperwork. We did, and brought the Big Fella home.

He was a bit restless in the night. He'd sleep on my tiny wife for a while, then go visit Sam's room, then Alina's. Then, Repeat. A little after 4am he didn't return. When we got up this morning Jean and I searched all over for him. We didn't see him in either of the kids' room. We searched and searched the house. Then, we went back in Alina's room. Silhoetted in the night light was Moose's head on Alina's bed. The rest of his big body was under Alina's kitty blanket. She had covered him up in the night when he got on her bed.

He loves being in our home. He loves being loved on by Jean and the kids. And by me. Today, during nap time he slept on my stomach for over two hours. He'd probably still be there if I was still napping. He loves Jean's lap, and has become her new "laptop."

Goodbye Geoffrey

Last night we said goodbye to Geoffrey. Geoffrey was Sam's fish. His first pet. He cried when we knew it looked as if Geoffrey was dying. Yesterday Geoffrey died.

Last night we held a small service for Geoffrey and we each dressed up. Sam wrote the eulogy and read it during the service. And, then Sam prayed. He did a great job.

For Sam, it was about his fish. For me, not as much. For me it was about letting Sam grieve, and being there with him in his grief. To be his dad, to hold him while he cried, and let him know it was perfectly okay to be sad as he wept.

Today, we plan to get another fish. Not to replace Geoffrey in Sam's heart, but to help take a bit of the sting away.

Tenacious D

Keep an eye on number 12 for the team wearing the white jerseys. Sam plays tenacious defense for the Eagles.

Inside

After Sam's basketball game today we headed downtown to Top Pot for doughnuts, then we walked around the city. One of the places we went into was a piano store. Alina walked up to a piano and began playing "Inside" by Van Halen. Nice!

My First AA Meeting

I'm taking a Substance Abuse class in school. It is an elective. I'm taking it because the population that I want to work with after graduation will likely suffer from substance abuse issues. A slightly lesser reason for me taking the class is that my dad was an alcoholic and I want to understand something about who he was.

As part of my Substance Abuse class, we have to attend a 12 Step Meeting. I attend one last night. It was a meeting just for men. My intention was to say as little as possible. I sat at one of the round tables, at the far end of the room from where the leaders of meeting were sitting. Another new guy was there, and he sat next to me. Every one else knew each other and were joking with each other and catching up. A few guys recognized that we were new, and they introduced themselves to us.

The meeting kicked off and a few guys read things. Every time someone talked, they would say, "Hi, my name is so and so, and I'm an alcoholic." The group would respond with, "Hi so and so." Then, the man would continue speaking. One of the orders of business was to ask who had a birthday this month. I started to raise my hand because I have a birthday this month, then I soon realized that wasn't what he meant. That was awkward for me. He was asking for people to share how long they'd been sober.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the only awkward moment of the night for me. The two of us new guys had to wear goofy hats for part of the meeting to acknowledge that we were goofy, just like the rest of them. During this time, one of the group leaders read from the "Big Book." Others had mentioned the Big Book earlier. I came to find out that it wasn't the Bible. It was the Alocholics Anonymous 576 page book. The man then shared some things from his life related to what he had read. He then called on people the rest of the night to share. He called on half to three quarters of everyone there, and I was not exempt. When he called on me, I just smiled and shook my head "No." He then asked the other new guy to speak, and the guy did. A few more guys were then asked to share before there was a smoke break at 8:20.

During the smoke break the guy who had adorned my head with the goofy hat asked if I had a Big Book. I said no. He asked if I wanted one, I said sure. He came back with a brand new copy for me. He also gave me a list of guys in the group and their contact information. He said that because this is my first time and don't have a sponsor he would like to be my intermediate sponsor. He asked me to call him today. He talked a lot about the group and how great it was that it was just a men's group because they could "fart, swear, belch and do all of the things that men do." He then told me to be sure to call him tomorrow [today].

Not really wanting to make conversation because I felt like a spy, I buried my head into the Big Book. With about 5 minutes to go in the smoke break, the guy who had initially read from the Big Book and had asked guys to share, including me, came and sat next to me. He introduced himself and asked how long I had been sober. He had a name like a disc jockey. I told him that my dad was an alcoholic. He asked, "but you're not?" I shook my head no. I am not sure that he believed me. I think he thought I was still in some sort of denial. He said, "We have guys here with other problems, too."

After the smoke break a few more guys shared, and we were done a little after 9pm. As awkward as it was, I was mostly impressed by guys who shared how when they hadn't been at a meeting for a week or so, other guys would come pick them up and take them out for coffee. How guys were not willing to let others fall.

On my way out, my intermediate sponsor thanked me for coming and reminded me to call him tomorrow [today]. I smiled and said, "Thank you."

DEPRESSION PRECEDES BREAKTHROUGH

As a person who suffers with depression, I love these words . . .

"C. H. Spurgeon is one of my favorite dead-guy pastors. He wrote and led in the 19th Century and wrestled with depression most of his life.

I love this insight from him: “This depression comes over me whenever the Lord is preparing a larger blessing for my ministry; the cloud is black before it breaks, and overshadows before it yields its deluge of mercy. Depression has now become to me as a prophet in rough clothing, a John the Baptist, heralding the nearer coming of my Lord’s richer benison.”

Have you ever thought that your depression or struggle could be preparing you for something greater?"

Written by Jud Wilhite, People of the Second Chance blog

Note to Santa

Our kids have never really been into Santa. This year Alina wanted to leave sweets for him. I don't think she expected any gifts from him––not even in her stocking. She just wanted to leave him something to eat.

Her note to Santa said:
Dear Santa,
These cookies and milk are for you.
Do not take the dishes.
Love, Alina and Sam

Serving Christmas

This year we wanted to do something different for Christmas. Instead of simply giving money to an organization, we agreed as a family that we wanted to spend time touching lives. So, we did. We found an opportunity to spend time at a nursing home while dinner was being served to the residents.

It sounds "nice." It was extremely hard. Some residents were able to attend dinner in the main dining room, and some even had family who came and ate with them there. That isn't the dining room we were assigned to. We were assigned to two small dining rooms. The two where many were not coherent. Of those that were coherent, most were suffering from dementia.

We were encouraged over and over by the staff how much the residents loved having us there. That it really meant a lot to them. I had to trust them, because it didn't seem to make a difference.

Jean and Sam spent time in one, Alina and I in another. After 45 minutes we teamed up and went table to table as a family. Christmas day showed me once again just how compassionate Jean's heart is for people. Her smile was contagious, and her caring words did make a difference in that place of little hope. She is so gentle, loving, and kind. She is great example to me and our kids. What takes great effort on my part seems effortless to her. Jean was the ray of warm sunshine in that place Christmas day.

The Second Gift of Christmas

Yesterday when I returned home, Jean's mom told me that a package had arrived and that she put it on our bed. I thought that perhaps it was a shirt that I had ordered for Alina with her school's logo on it. Instead, and even better, it was a red Captain Canada t-shirt from none other than Kevin Baker. That gift brought a big, big, big smile to my face. Today, I am wearing it with Canadian pride.

The First Gift of Christmas

My mom had some of her Super 8mm film converted to DVD for me to have as a Christmas gift. I loved seeing me as a baby. I cut and pieced together some segments from the DVD with me in them to form the clip below. The first woman you will see is my Aunt Jan. The first man, my dad. The woman holding me tightly, my mom. The dude at the end wearing the "too much information yellow swim suit"––no clue.

People of the Second Chance

Mike Foster talks about being People of the Second Chance. In his recent blog post he says,

"As People of the Second Chance, here are a few of my suggestions:

1. You have so many words that you can share in a day. Decide whether they will be about blessing or cursing someone.

2. When someone is caught in a scandal, I visualize two buckets that I can fill. I can add to the “Shame Bucket” or the “Second Chance Bucket.” Sometimes my first/easy/fun/human nature response is to fill the “Shame Bucket” so I have to work harder not to do that.

3. For all you online peeps…write your articles, blogs, tweets, and comments as if the person in crisis (and their family) were reading it. Why? Because they do! And the jokes, snarky comments, sloppy facts and flippant remarks hurt people. Instead, devote your computer keyboard to the restoration of people.

4. Refuse to participate in the gossip session around the water cooler. Or better yet, jump in and turn the conversation towards grace and second chances. Btw, just plan on being called a “buzz kill” and not invited back to any more social functions.

5. Realize we are either part of the judgment problem or the grace solution. But we can’t be both. So choose wisely."


I am thankful for the Second Chance People in our lives:
• Johnny and Angie
• Kevin and Kari
• Brian and Karen
• Anne and Andy
• David and Heather
• Kurt and Kelly
• Tim and Cole
• Steve and Molly
• Howard and LindaJo
• Terry and Roxanne
• All of the mountain biking guys

Each of you are indeed the People of the Second Chance!

Tripp and Tyler Thanksgiving

You know my LOVE for Tripp and Tyler, and their "Don't Be that Guy" films. Happy Thanksgiving!

More Developments

Like I said in my previous post, we got film developed. It is crazy to see how much Sam and Alina have grown.

First, Sam:









































And, Alina:

Snorkle

This weekend we decided to finally get some film developed. We had three underwater cameras that needed developing and two rolls of 35mm film that had who knows what on it. We haven't shot 35mm in YEARS! This photo is from our 10 year anniversary trip to Cancun. That trip was certainly the highpoint of the 2005.

My Biggest "OH CRAP!" Moment of the Semester

So, this morning I had my biggest "OH CRAP" moment of the semester. A few weeks ago our Theology professor bumped the due date of our research paper from 11/18 to 11/23. Somewhere in there I was thinking that 11/23 was the Monday AFTER Thanksgiving, not the Monday BEFORE Thanksgiving. 11/23 is a week from today! OH CRAP!

I'm really tired. Tired to the point that I feel like there is nothing left in me that can be written that could possibly make any coherent sense. Ugh!

Ethics in the Workplace

The country has recently had to deal with several "high profile" ethics issues in the workplace. The ethics issue in the workplace has recently focused around people in high position having sex with those in lower job positions. David Letterman, the baseball analyst for ESPN, etc. But, has the ethics issue at Babyland General Hospital ever been brought to light?

For those of you not familiar with it, Babyland General Hospital is the place where Cabbage Patch babies are born. This morning, I'm holding one of Alina's Cabbage Patch kids while eating breakfast. The baby's Cabbage Patch birth certificate is on the table. I'm eating, holding the baby, and reading. To my horror I see that Xavier Roberts is both the hospital's chief of staff, but also the child's father. (See both pictures below.) Further, for the child to be "genuine," the birth certificate says that "Xavier Roberts" must also be tattooed on the Cabbage Patch's bottom. What is going on at Babyland General Hospital? And, exactly what kind of man is this Xavier Roberts?

Innovation Cultivation

This article entitled Innovation Cultivation has been linked by several leadership blogs I read. And, I am not sure that it could have come at a better time. It is in harmony with a lot of what I have been thinking about lately (well, besides all the papers I'm writing over the next several weeks). Enjoy!

A Fun Reason to Take the Stairs

I could totally see my friend Andy doing this to the stairs leading to his new studio.