My First AA Meeting

I'm taking a Substance Abuse class in school. It is an elective. I'm taking it because the population that I want to work with after graduation will likely suffer from substance abuse issues. A slightly lesser reason for me taking the class is that my dad was an alcoholic and I want to understand something about who he was.

As part of my Substance Abuse class, we have to attend a 12 Step Meeting. I attend one last night. It was a meeting just for men. My intention was to say as little as possible. I sat at one of the round tables, at the far end of the room from where the leaders of meeting were sitting. Another new guy was there, and he sat next to me. Every one else knew each other and were joking with each other and catching up. A few guys recognized that we were new, and they introduced themselves to us.

The meeting kicked off and a few guys read things. Every time someone talked, they would say, "Hi, my name is so and so, and I'm an alcoholic." The group would respond with, "Hi so and so." Then, the man would continue speaking. One of the orders of business was to ask who had a birthday this month. I started to raise my hand because I have a birthday this month, then I soon realized that wasn't what he meant. That was awkward for me. He was asking for people to share how long they'd been sober.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the only awkward moment of the night for me. The two of us new guys had to wear goofy hats for part of the meeting to acknowledge that we were goofy, just like the rest of them. During this time, one of the group leaders read from the "Big Book." Others had mentioned the Big Book earlier. I came to find out that it wasn't the Bible. It was the Alocholics Anonymous 576 page book. The man then shared some things from his life related to what he had read. He then called on people the rest of the night to share. He called on half to three quarters of everyone there, and I was not exempt. When he called on me, I just smiled and shook my head "No." He then asked the other new guy to speak, and the guy did. A few more guys were then asked to share before there was a smoke break at 8:20.

During the smoke break the guy who had adorned my head with the goofy hat asked if I had a Big Book. I said no. He asked if I wanted one, I said sure. He came back with a brand new copy for me. He also gave me a list of guys in the group and their contact information. He said that because this is my first time and don't have a sponsor he would like to be my intermediate sponsor. He asked me to call him today. He talked a lot about the group and how great it was that it was just a men's group because they could "fart, swear, belch and do all of the things that men do." He then told me to be sure to call him tomorrow [today].

Not really wanting to make conversation because I felt like a spy, I buried my head into the Big Book. With about 5 minutes to go in the smoke break, the guy who had initially read from the Big Book and had asked guys to share, including me, came and sat next to me. He introduced himself and asked how long I had been sober. He had a name like a disc jockey. I told him that my dad was an alcoholic. He asked, "but you're not?" I shook my head no. I am not sure that he believed me. I think he thought I was still in some sort of denial. He said, "We have guys here with other problems, too."

After the smoke break a few more guys shared, and we were done a little after 9pm. As awkward as it was, I was mostly impressed by guys who shared how when they hadn't been at a meeting for a week or so, other guys would come pick them up and take them out for coffee. How guys were not willing to let others fall.

On my way out, my intermediate sponsor thanked me for coming and reminded me to call him tomorrow [today]. I smiled and said, "Thank you."