The Biggest Sigh of Relief for 2010

Grades were posted yesterday. I had a lot of anxiety about one class in particular. I received a very poor grade on my first paper for the class back in October. To not have to retake the class––which would postpone my program completion date––I needed at least a B- in the class for the semester. Anything lower than a B- would mean that the grade would not count. I would need at least a B-. With the grade I received on the first paper, I had very little wiggle room for further error.

How would I explain to family members and friends who were planning on coming out in June for graduation that I wouldn't be graduating this year. Worse, how would I console myself? It has been a long, hard, arduous three years for me. And it has for my family.

I put my nose to the grindstone. I worked diligently on my final paper. I started it four weeks before it was due. I pestered our first year TA, peppering him with questions. I typed draft after draft. Finally, the due date came. I turned it in. When I released it from my hands I realized there was no turning back. It had turned in. I wondered if I had prayed enough over it. It was no longer in my hands. I could no longer make any last revisions. It, and my fate, was in the hands of someone else.

Grades were posted yesterday. And, my grade was better than a B- for the class. The little wiggle room that I had wasn't needed. The hard work wasn't wasted and the beauty of God's grace was good. I sat. I took in my grades. I let out the biggest sigh of relief for 2010. And so did Jean. She knew how much the class had stirred in me. She was relieved for me. She was proud of me. She shared in my gladness and relief.

So, I look ahead to the remaining two semesters, 12 credits, and 174 days until graduation.