For the second Monday in a row I have been told by two caring faculty members that I need to take a year to care for me. To grieve my story. To care for my heart. To stop caring for others so that I can care for myself. All so that I can care for me the way that I care for others. And, when I care for me better I can truly care for others well because I will be able to better grieve for me and for them.
Jean says I love her and the kids in completely higher ways since being in Seattle. Jean says I have changed so much being here. I don't know.
All of us in the MACP program have to do 42 hours of outside counseling with a therapist by fall 2009. Mine begins Nov. 20. It will start at a place where my last two left off, and maybe at a different starting place that hasn't been mined yet. This time around I want to see a female counselor. How in the world can I begin to care for myself and allow myself to be cared for. It has been easier to care for others than to care well for me. My inner circle of guys care for me and care for me well. But, I need to allow them to care better because it is hard for me. I need to let them for them and for me.
It is very strange to be trusting a stranger that hasn't earned my trust in a strange city and at a very deconstructing time. This should be fun...
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1 comment:
Ed...I'm so glad that everything worked out for your to be here in Seattle. It sounds like the Lord is doing much in you.
Jennifer
www.mytrueself.typepad.com
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