Needing Monday Night

Last night Jean had left for ladies' group and I was putting dinner on the plates. Alina was in her chair in the dining room and asked, "Dad, why are you mad?" WOW! That disarmed me. I told her that I was sorry for acting mad.

The last several weeks have been really, really hard. The usual November depression, which may have hit a little harder this year with the weight of what needs to be done to the house to get it ready for selling. By the time I get home from work, hangout with the family, eat dinner, put Sam and Alina to bed - I am honestly ready for bed. And it's only 7:30. I don't feel like doing anything.

Work has been difficult recently. Or, frustrating. I've been handling some of the work load of the appraisers, only to give them more time to look at their stocks, badmouth people, etc. Often I can't breathe. Lately I've been wearing my ear buds to drown out the moaning and whining, until my ears heart to the point I need to take them out.

The last week or two there has been a change in Sam. Flexing a lot more attitude to Jean, to Alina, and to his teacher. So, when I got home last night I was already near a boil from work, and expecting a night of "attitude" from Sam, and literal screaming at Sam by Alina.

But, Alina knew something wasn't right, and she called me out. Last night was good. I was patient. I enjoyed them. Sam beat me in checkers. We all laughed and enjoyed each other last night. I needed them.