My Long Awaited Birthday Gift

I got it. I was a little nervous, but I got it and I LOVE IT! Fortunately, Jean loves it too!

The week before my 40th birthday in January, with Jean's blessing, I went to Slave to the Needle in Ballard with pictures and ideas for a tattoo. From things that I had read on the internet I was pretty sure that I wanted Honest Jon to do my artwork. When I got there I looked through every artist's portfolio. Though the other artist's had great work, too, I liked his detail and color. I then talked with him a bit and he said that it was a simple and doable idea. I talked with someone at the front desk to book my date. She said that the earliest I could have it done was the first weekend in April, with my art consultation being the end of March. WOW! It felt like a long time to wait, but I really wanted it and I really wanted him. I've heard that any tattoo artist that is any good is typically booked out a while, so I was okay.

At the beginning of March I got a call saying that Honest Jon was going to be out of town the weekend I was scheduled for, and the next available opening would be May 29. I agreed, but wondered if it was something that would ever really happen. But it did. I met with him on May 22 at 11am for my art consult. What he had done with the original concept idea was very sweet. I had envisioned something pretty basic, and he gave a lot of life to it. I could hardly wait.

I arrived Saturday afternoon a few minutes early for my appointment. Honest Jon was still setting up. I couldn't believe what I was about to do. I had come from very conservative Baptist roots. My body would be changed forever.

Finally, he called me back to the chair. He had printed off a template with the design on it. After washing my arm, and shaving it, he laid it on my wet arm to transfer the design. It took about five tries and two templates to get a good position. No turning back. I was ready. Before he started I asked if I was going to cry from pain. He said in his soft, quiet demeanor, "Probably not," and he started. The tattooing needle felt like a nail being pressed and dragged across my skin. That may sound painful, but it really wasn't.

Over halfway through I was asked to change positions a second time and I was able to take another look and see what he had done so far. It looked SO COOL. He had estimated that it would take about two and a half hours, but it was closer to an hour and forty five minutes by the time he had finished.

When we were all done he wrapped it up and repeated the care instructions. I was pleased with how it turned out, and I think he was pleased, and pleased at how pleased I was.

I texted Jean that I was on my way, and she texted back that she couldn't wait to see it. I drove home all bandaged. It was a little uncomfortable to shift. I went home, had dinner, and waited the allotted time before taking the bandage off to show Jean, Sam, and Alina.

My tattoo is a bike chain the feeds into an open wound. It represents what a source of healing mountain biking has been for me. It has always been a time where I could go out and wrestle with God and return changed. Often I was still frustrated, but still very changed.

On one link is "J," on another is "S" and on a third is "A." You can see the "A" on the second link going into the wound. J is for Jean, S for Sam, A for Alina. On a link on my inner bicep is a Trinity symbol, representing "The Father," "The Son," and "The Holy Spirit."

When I looked over my tattoo in the mirror at Slave to the Needle before it was bandaged I told Honest Jon that it made my other arm look really bare. He said, "That's what makes people come back." I already have an idea swirling for my left arm.

Big Day

I've been anticipating today since I turned 40 in January. Today is a big day. I'm both nervous and excited. I'll post pictures late tonight or sometime on Sunday.

The Countdown is On I Guess

The countdown has begun. The other night it struck Jean and me that we are a year away from my schooling being done. WOW! I was texting with the Sherpa today, and he brought up that my graduation is 400 days away. I teased him asking if he had a countdown widget on his computer.

Officially, it is 402 days until graduation day––June 25, 2011.

Sitting in my personal therapy last night I was reflecting on my own personal growth. There has been so much growth. Even in the fact that I really take time to reflect about the small moments in my day and what certain things invoke from my past (this is what MHGS students do, and it is weird that I am being transformed into one of them) seems really big.

Because I am so excited about where I am now, I am really excited about the next 402 days. I am not excited about just getting beyond the 402 days. I am excited about what these 402 days hold. The remainder of this summer term will continue to be exhausting––many hours of in-class and out of class work. I am excited about the summer––trips, day trips, basketball, and coloring. I am excited about the last three terms––my internship, great electives, and great requirements. I am excited about going home tonight––to my kids, and to my bride of 15 years tomorrow. I am in a spot of great personal and interpersonal growth. I hope it doesn't end after these 402 days are over.

Prayer and Country Music

I've been listening to country music for about four years or so now. I like to listen to it when I'm working on the car, or on my bike, or just tinkering with stuff. Country music helps remind me that my life really isn't all that bad. It makes me smile. I heard this song, Pray for You, the other day and it made me laugh.

How We Play

I am taking a class this summer called Counseling Children and Adolescents. Jean is taking the class, too, which makes the class much more fun.

Our professor encourages us to draw and use Play-Doh during class, and play on our breaks. Julie made these flowers out of Play-Doh during class, and many students used sidewalk chalk during the break to have fun.

Beautiful Girl, Big Cat

I Don't Remember When

I don't remember the last time I have felt this sick. Jean and I are both really sick. We slept for 19 hours yesterday. I got up yesterday afternoon to go throw up. The next thing I know I am lying in the doorway of the bathroom, with my head out in the hall. Jean was standing over me. I asked what happened. She said she heard a thud, then I was snoring. I had passed out while throwing up.

I sweat. My skin hurts. My kidneys hurt. I am so tired.

Holy and Unholy

The literal Hebrew translation for the word HOLY is "Intensely Alive."
The literal Hebrew translation for the word UNHOLY is "Yet Filled with Life."

Are you HOLY, intensely alive, or UNHOLY, yet filled with life?

Rob, His Wife, and Baby Number Four

Rob is continuing to respond to yes and no questions with head movements. But, Rob's wife went into labor last night. Currently doctors are attempting to stop the contractions with medications. The baby is currently breach as well, which means if the baby does come and does not turn a C-sections will be necessary.

Rob is Improving

Rob is moving his head to indicate yes and no. He is also able to squeeze with his hands. The doctors are planning to move him to a step down room soon.

Thank you for your prayers!

Mothers Day

In the words of Trace Adkins, "You're One Hot Mama."

The Incredulity of Saint Thomas

I love this painting.

^{JOHN 20
24}Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. ²⁵So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord!"
But he said to them, "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it."

²⁶A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" ²⁷Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe."

How Rob is Doing

Rob has been unresponsive since his stroke a week and a half ago. His respirator has been removed and he is able to breathe on his own, though. While the doctors say that there is little brain activity, we still hope.

New Bed

Our new bed arrives today! We can't wait. We've had our current mattress and box springs for all of our marriage––and we're just weeks away from our 15 year anniversary. We've both not slept well for awhile. We are hoping the new mattress does the trick. About 4am every morning I wake up with severe muscle spasms in my back. I begin each morning feeling more tired than when I went to bed the night before.

A few weeks ago we tried out mattresses at the mattress store. We went back this past Monday afternoon to make sure we still liked the same one, and to buy it. As we re-tried out all the mattresses again and confirmed our selection, Sam fell asleep on one. I hope we fall asleep as easily on our new as he did in the mattress store. We are dreaming of rest.

Best Friends

I get to go on a lot of class field trips with Alina. Thursday's field trip was to Seattle's Woodland Zoo. I "chaperoned" Alina and her best friend May. They were so excited to be together. They were so excited, in fact, that they walked with their arms around each others' shoulders for the first half-hour of the day.

They are a perfect pair. They love playing the same things, and they love playing together, and they love each other. May came over last Saturday. They had fun playing together the whole afternoon, and the day went too fast for the both of them. Alina wishes May was her sister, but they pretend to be cousins. They are so sweet. They are best friends.

Last Night

Last night Rob had a quiet night. A good thing.

Post-Op

Rob's surgery was supposed to last 2-4 hours, but it only lasted 50 minutes. The doctors found and removed a small blood clot. The doctors also reinserted the drainage tube to his brain, and inserted a line into his neck in order to record Rob's vital signs. The doctors said that the surgery went well and are hoping that this calms the agitation Rob has been experiencing.

Please continue to pray for Rob's wife, as well, as she is crumbling under the weight of all of this.

Surgery Pending

The doctors plan to take Rob into surgery between 4pm and 5pm Eastern time this afternoon in hopes to relieve pressure on the brain.

Grim Doctors, Hopeful Family

I am a day behind in relaying information about Rob. I haven't gotten an update this morning, but yesterday's report was grim.

The doctor's have been treating Rob for pneumonia. His fever returned and they packed Rob in ice Wednesday evening to reduce his 104º body temperature. Since the stroke, Rob has been agitated and unresponsive. The medical staff are giving him morphine because they know he is in a lot of pain. The triage doctor said that they do not expect for Rob to get any better than the state he is currently in. Yet, we still hold out hope because the doctor's have already been wrong once. Rob wasn't supposed to live, yet Tuesday evening he was responding to commands of raising his arms, legs, and head. Today is a new day.

Stroke

Rob had been progressing really well. Tuesday he was able to move all of his limbs. The doctor's could not tell yet what the extent of the long-term damage was, but this was a great sign. For a man that wasn't expected to live, he was doing amazing.

Much of Wednesday Rob was agitated, and then yesterday afternoon Rob had a stroke and it affected one side of his body. At this point the doctor's don't know how severe the stroke was.

On the investigation side of the assault, witnesses in the neighborhood haven't been willing to talk because most in that neighborhood don't trust police or police detectives. At this point there is not enough evidence to make a case against the seven 13-year-olds.