Busy Week

It has been a very busy week! Jean's parents arrived last Wednesday evening after my first fly fishing class. Thursday we all went on the Seattle Underground Tour. Friday we went to Tillamook, OR to the Tillamook County Creamery for the tour, as well as to sample cheese and ice cream. From there we traveled north to Cannon Beach, OR. Saturday, Jean made a country boil for dinner with potatoes, corn, shrimp, crab and sausage. SOOOOOO good! Our neighbor Lyn joined us for the feast. Monday we traveled into Washington's 95º high dessert to Grand Coulee Dam, and then headed back west to the Bavarian town of Leavenworth for dinner and ice cream, and dancing with ice cream, before heading back home.

Fly Fishing

First year, first semester students at MHGS are exposed to fly fishing through reading A River Runs Through It for Hermeneutics class, and reading The Earth is Enough for the class Faith, Hope, and Love. My first fall, we were even invited to go on a fly fishing trip over reading week. Dan Allender is a huge fly fisherman, and so is my favorite professor Steve Call. My friend Tim Jackson back in Michigan is also an avid fly fisherman. So, it was only a matter of time before I would attempt to take it up.

Last night was my first fly fishing class. It was great. We learned about different fish, river and lake fishing, and about the equipment. Sunday we finish the intro class by learning about entomology (the bugs fish eat), how to tie knots, and actually attempting to cast. So far, the class was certainly worth the price of admission.

When the Compass Needle Spins

Last week I began the book, Wild Goose Chase by Mark Batterson. Mark Batterson wrote my all-time favorite book, In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day. In Celtic Spirituality the Holy Spirit was called An Geadh´Glas––The Wild Goose. (As a side note, next spring I will be taking a Celtic Spirituality class for my Spiritual Foundations elective.)

Last night while reading I came across some encouraging words for my spinning compass needle: Few things are as disorienting as in-between times––between jobs, between relationships, or between a rock and a hard place. But nothing rattles the cage like a bad diagnosis, a pink slip, or divorce papers. They cause the compass needle to spin. And we feel lost because our plans and our lives fall apart. But the upside is that it causes us to seek God with a raw intensity that cannot be manufactured any other way. Disorientation has a way of driving us to our knees. And that is one reason why the bad things that happen to us can actually turn into the best things that happen to us (pp. 122-123).

I do feel like I'm in one of those disorienting in-between times. I walked away from something I always thought I wanted in order to finish my degree here. I feel like I did the right thing, but I still second guess myself wondering if I walked away from a once in a lifetime opportunity. Mark Batterson's words and God's words helped my compass stop spinning: We put so much pressure on ourselves, as if the eternal plans of almighty God are contingent upon our ability to decipher them. The truth is, God wants to reveal them more than we want to know them. And if we think one misstep can frustrate the providential plans of the Omnipotent One, then our God is way too small. Not only does God want us to get where God wants us to go more than we want to get where God wants us to go, but He is awfully good at getting us there. He may not always reveal His plans how or when we want Him to. But when we chase the Wild Goose, our future becomes His responsibility. "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps" (Proverbs 16:9), (pp. 128-129).

Another Great Country Song

In May I wrote a post about why I love country music. When I was putting the camping gear away I heard another great country song entitled, "Pretty Good at Drinkin' Beer." Classic!

Laying a Pair of Old Friends to Rest

I bought this pair of hiking boots in the spring of 1998 for an eight day backpacking trip to Pukaskwa National Park with Andy, Paulo and Brian V. The tread began coming off of the left boot on the walk up to Rachel Lake last Thursday, and by the time we reached the lake, I had to pull the rest of the tread off the boot. Needless to say, no tread on one boot made coming down the snow covered mountain with a partially loaded pack a lot of fun! On the walk out Friday I could stick my toes out the bottom of the left boot, and I even took a couple of sticks up the toenail of my big toe! Ouch. I took some first-aid tape and wrapped it around the boot hoping to keep my foot inside, it didn't work for very long. And, on the last half mile, the tread came off of the right boot.

I loved this pair of boots. They gave me sure footing over many miles on all the trips during the twelve year span. Trips with Jean, Sam & Alina, and trips with great friends that became even better friends as a result of those miles on the trail. Thanks for the memories!

Rest, Healing, Laughter and Backpacking

On Tuesday June 29, with the handing in of my final two papers, I officially became a third year student at MHGS. And, hopefully, the third year will be my final year. I knew year two would be exhausting with taking additional classes, and it was. After the papers were turned in I was taking 2 hour naps in the afternoon and going to bed early and I still couldn't shake the exhaustion. I didn't realize how tired I was. But, after four days of this pattern, I knew I needed something different. I needed a backpacking trip.

Sam, Alina, and I headed out Wednesday––eight days after classes were completed––to Rachel Lake for a three day backpacking trip. Jean had to stay behind to prep for the biggest week of Children's Ministry––VBS! But, she blessed us by making yummy provisions for the trip.

This was Alina's third backpacking trip and Sam has been on several. Normally we try to do a flat hike around 2 miles in length. This trail was 3.8 miles from the trailhead to Rachel Lake, with an elevation change of 1900 feet.

The first half mile was a decent climb, and it was tiring. The next 2 miles or so was more gradual yet we knew we were climbing. We took lots of breaks. It was more grueling in real life than the topographical map had let on.

Many of the stream crossings were wider and deeper than when we went to Hiyas Lake last year. Alina could do many, but not all of them. This meant taking off my pack and carrying Alina over, then going back for her pack and mine. Sam is like a mountain goat with or without a pack, so he often made several trips back and forth at each crossing "just for fun."

The hike in was going a lot slower than I had anticipated. Whenever we came in contact with another party on the trail I asked how long they had been hiking back down from Rachel Lake. I always needed to at least double their time for short legs, and us going uphill as opposed to their downhill. I knew we were getting to a point where, if we couldn't get to Rachel Lake in the next hour or so, we would need to make camp for the night.

We came to our deepest and widest stream crossing yet at the base of a large, cascading water fall. At about that time, another couple was coming across. They had been coming down for about 45 minutes, and we were told that there was another waterfall further ahead that was more treacherous due to its width and because of water depth at this time of the day because of the day's snow melt. They were kind enough to help me shuttle gear to the other side of this stream. This stream was crazy to cross with rotten and unstable logs and limbs as our footings to make it across. We were told that there were a few possible campsites ahead next to the waterfall.

We started the "big climb." This last mile to Rachel Lake was the steepest. We went a little ways and dropped our packs and went UP the trail to see if there were any places to reasonably pitch a tent. The only place was next to this taller, cascading waterfall. But, it really wasn't a safe place to pitch a tent because of the drop. One wrong move and someone would be down the mountain. Imagine Amazon waterfall here. I found myself thinking, "What have I done?"

Sam said, "Dad. I think we should go back to the campsite we saw before the other crossing." I told him that I hated going backwards. But, deep down I knew he was right. Sam has great instincts. We did go back down and crossed the rotten logs at the base of the falls. And, yes, I went in up to my knees more than once! We made safely to set up camp in the area Sam suggested and that would be our home for two nights. We had dinner and the kids turned in. It was hilarious to see Sam's silhouette dancing in the tent while I did dishes. They laughed in the tent together for over 90 minutes before finally falling asleep. I think I may have fallen asleep before they did.

Thursday we made it a day hike to Rachel Lake. Near the top of the mountain we hit snow, making finding the trail up the steep slope a curious task. But, we did it, and we made it. When we made it I realized my "What have I done?" from the night before had turned into gladness for doing this. The lake was freezing cold, but the view and the feeling of accomplishment were amazing. Alina said, "I know what I'm going to write in my journal tonight. 'Today was SWEEEEEET!"

My kids amaze me. Alina, for a girl who loves pink, loves getting dirty. And, her little legs never stopped as she carried her pack. She is one determined little girl. Sam was helpful to his sister getting her over obstacles when she couldn't, and his wilderness intuition is incredible. On our hike out he impressed many hikers with his knowledge, time markings, and trail markings. Both Sam and Alina had positive attitudes Wednesday hiking in, making the 1200' ascent from our campsite to Rachel Lake and 1200' descent back on Thursday, and on the hike out Friday. It was adventuring with them in this place where they personalities were able to shine which healed me from the brutal toll of my second year of school.

My Cards

I love hand-made things from Sam and Alina. I love seeing their creativity, and they put so much love into it. These are the Father's Day cards I received this morning from them.

Alina's envelope of her and me.










































Sam's Envelope


























































It reads: My Dad Rocks
My dad hates coffee!
You are the best dad ever!

Fabulous dad.
Absolutely awesome.
The best dad who likes to go to Starbucks.
He gives me humongous hugs.
Excellent dad who's the best in the world.
Really likes to tickle my mom.

I love my dad because: I love my dad because he likes to give me big hugs and likes to play catch with me. Love, Sam

One Week Not to Burn the Building Down

At the middle of this term I met with my Practicum II Leader. He said that I was doing well. Among other good feedback, he said that I am curious when I counsel. He said that I am going to be a good therapist. He said that unless I burn the building down, I will pass. The words were encouraging to me, especially because "Practicum I" had been a source of such anxiety for me. I have one week not to burn the building down. I hope that I can do that.

Don't Jaywalk in Seattle

A Seattle police officer punched a teenager in the face. Several teenagers had been Jaywalking. I wonder why he felt that he had to handcuff one of the teens, which led to the another teen being punched, instead of simply letting them know why Jaywalking is dangerous? You can read the article here, and watch the video of the incident below. To me, it seems the officer misused, and abused, his authority and power.

Rob

I deeply apologize to each of you who have inquired about my cousin Rob's progress. This semester has been incredibly grueling.

Rob is doing very, very well. Though he is unable to talk––which may have been caused by the stroke––he is able to communicate by pointing to symbols on a tablet. He has also called his wife, as well as his mom, from his hospital room without anyone's prompting. His memory allowed him to recall the telephone numbers, and he answered yes and no questions by hitting number patterns on the phone keypad. Rob is also able to walk with the help of a walker or cane. All very, very amazing!

Also, even though she was born early, their baby is doing well and they are hopeful that she will get to be released from the hospital soon.

Alina's Kindergarten Class Singing in Chapel

Alina's class sang in their school's K-3rd grade chapel this morning. Alina had the first of the four speaking parts.

My Long Awaited Birthday Gift

I got it. I was a little nervous, but I got it and I LOVE IT! Fortunately, Jean loves it too!

The week before my 40th birthday in January, with Jean's blessing, I went to Slave to the Needle in Ballard with pictures and ideas for a tattoo. From things that I had read on the internet I was pretty sure that I wanted Honest Jon to do my artwork. When I got there I looked through every artist's portfolio. Though the other artist's had great work, too, I liked his detail and color. I then talked with him a bit and he said that it was a simple and doable idea. I talked with someone at the front desk to book my date. She said that the earliest I could have it done was the first weekend in April, with my art consultation being the end of March. WOW! It felt like a long time to wait, but I really wanted it and I really wanted him. I've heard that any tattoo artist that is any good is typically booked out a while, so I was okay.

At the beginning of March I got a call saying that Honest Jon was going to be out of town the weekend I was scheduled for, and the next available opening would be May 29. I agreed, but wondered if it was something that would ever really happen. But it did. I met with him on May 22 at 11am for my art consult. What he had done with the original concept idea was very sweet. I had envisioned something pretty basic, and he gave a lot of life to it. I could hardly wait.

I arrived Saturday afternoon a few minutes early for my appointment. Honest Jon was still setting up. I couldn't believe what I was about to do. I had come from very conservative Baptist roots. My body would be changed forever.

Finally, he called me back to the chair. He had printed off a template with the design on it. After washing my arm, and shaving it, he laid it on my wet arm to transfer the design. It took about five tries and two templates to get a good position. No turning back. I was ready. Before he started I asked if I was going to cry from pain. He said in his soft, quiet demeanor, "Probably not," and he started. The tattooing needle felt like a nail being pressed and dragged across my skin. That may sound painful, but it really wasn't.

Over halfway through I was asked to change positions a second time and I was able to take another look and see what he had done so far. It looked SO COOL. He had estimated that it would take about two and a half hours, but it was closer to an hour and forty five minutes by the time he had finished.

When we were all done he wrapped it up and repeated the care instructions. I was pleased with how it turned out, and I think he was pleased, and pleased at how pleased I was.

I texted Jean that I was on my way, and she texted back that she couldn't wait to see it. I drove home all bandaged. It was a little uncomfortable to shift. I went home, had dinner, and waited the allotted time before taking the bandage off to show Jean, Sam, and Alina.

My tattoo is a bike chain the feeds into an open wound. It represents what a source of healing mountain biking has been for me. It has always been a time where I could go out and wrestle with God and return changed. Often I was still frustrated, but still very changed.

On one link is "J," on another is "S" and on a third is "A." You can see the "A" on the second link going into the wound. J is for Jean, S for Sam, A for Alina. On a link on my inner bicep is a Trinity symbol, representing "The Father," "The Son," and "The Holy Spirit."

When I looked over my tattoo in the mirror at Slave to the Needle before it was bandaged I told Honest Jon that it made my other arm look really bare. He said, "That's what makes people come back." I already have an idea swirling for my left arm.

Big Day

I've been anticipating today since I turned 40 in January. Today is a big day. I'm both nervous and excited. I'll post pictures late tonight or sometime on Sunday.

The Countdown is On I Guess

The countdown has begun. The other night it struck Jean and me that we are a year away from my schooling being done. WOW! I was texting with the Sherpa today, and he brought up that my graduation is 400 days away. I teased him asking if he had a countdown widget on his computer.

Officially, it is 402 days until graduation day––June 25, 2011.

Sitting in my personal therapy last night I was reflecting on my own personal growth. There has been so much growth. Even in the fact that I really take time to reflect about the small moments in my day and what certain things invoke from my past (this is what MHGS students do, and it is weird that I am being transformed into one of them) seems really big.

Because I am so excited about where I am now, I am really excited about the next 402 days. I am not excited about just getting beyond the 402 days. I am excited about what these 402 days hold. The remainder of this summer term will continue to be exhausting––many hours of in-class and out of class work. I am excited about the summer––trips, day trips, basketball, and coloring. I am excited about the last three terms––my internship, great electives, and great requirements. I am excited about going home tonight––to my kids, and to my bride of 15 years tomorrow. I am in a spot of great personal and interpersonal growth. I hope it doesn't end after these 402 days are over.

Prayer and Country Music

I've been listening to country music for about four years or so now. I like to listen to it when I'm working on the car, or on my bike, or just tinkering with stuff. Country music helps remind me that my life really isn't all that bad. It makes me smile. I heard this song, Pray for You, the other day and it made me laugh.

How We Play

I am taking a class this summer called Counseling Children and Adolescents. Jean is taking the class, too, which makes the class much more fun.

Our professor encourages us to draw and use Play-Doh during class, and play on our breaks. Julie made these flowers out of Play-Doh during class, and many students used sidewalk chalk during the break to have fun.

Beautiful Girl, Big Cat

I Don't Remember When

I don't remember the last time I have felt this sick. Jean and I are both really sick. We slept for 19 hours yesterday. I got up yesterday afternoon to go throw up. The next thing I know I am lying in the doorway of the bathroom, with my head out in the hall. Jean was standing over me. I asked what happened. She said she heard a thud, then I was snoring. I had passed out while throwing up.

I sweat. My skin hurts. My kidneys hurt. I am so tired.

Holy and Unholy

The literal Hebrew translation for the word HOLY is "Intensely Alive."
The literal Hebrew translation for the word UNHOLY is "Yet Filled with Life."

Are you HOLY, intensely alive, or UNHOLY, yet filled with life?

Rob, His Wife, and Baby Number Four

Rob is continuing to respond to yes and no questions with head movements. But, Rob's wife went into labor last night. Currently doctors are attempting to stop the contractions with medications. The baby is currently breach as well, which means if the baby does come and does not turn a C-sections will be necessary.

Rob is Improving

Rob is moving his head to indicate yes and no. He is also able to squeeze with his hands. The doctors are planning to move him to a step down room soon.

Thank you for your prayers!

Mothers Day

In the words of Trace Adkins, "You're One Hot Mama."

The Incredulity of Saint Thomas

I love this painting.

^{JOHN 20
24}Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. ²⁵So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord!"
But he said to them, "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it."

²⁶A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" ²⁷Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe."

How Rob is Doing

Rob has been unresponsive since his stroke a week and a half ago. His respirator has been removed and he is able to breathe on his own, though. While the doctors say that there is little brain activity, we still hope.

New Bed

Our new bed arrives today! We can't wait. We've had our current mattress and box springs for all of our marriage––and we're just weeks away from our 15 year anniversary. We've both not slept well for awhile. We are hoping the new mattress does the trick. About 4am every morning I wake up with severe muscle spasms in my back. I begin each morning feeling more tired than when I went to bed the night before.

A few weeks ago we tried out mattresses at the mattress store. We went back this past Monday afternoon to make sure we still liked the same one, and to buy it. As we re-tried out all the mattresses again and confirmed our selection, Sam fell asleep on one. I hope we fall asleep as easily on our new as he did in the mattress store. We are dreaming of rest.

Best Friends

I get to go on a lot of class field trips with Alina. Thursday's field trip was to Seattle's Woodland Zoo. I "chaperoned" Alina and her best friend May. They were so excited to be together. They were so excited, in fact, that they walked with their arms around each others' shoulders for the first half-hour of the day.

They are a perfect pair. They love playing the same things, and they love playing together, and they love each other. May came over last Saturday. They had fun playing together the whole afternoon, and the day went too fast for the both of them. Alina wishes May was her sister, but they pretend to be cousins. They are so sweet. They are best friends.

Last Night

Last night Rob had a quiet night. A good thing.

Post-Op

Rob's surgery was supposed to last 2-4 hours, but it only lasted 50 minutes. The doctors found and removed a small blood clot. The doctors also reinserted the drainage tube to his brain, and inserted a line into his neck in order to record Rob's vital signs. The doctors said that the surgery went well and are hoping that this calms the agitation Rob has been experiencing.

Please continue to pray for Rob's wife, as well, as she is crumbling under the weight of all of this.

Surgery Pending

The doctors plan to take Rob into surgery between 4pm and 5pm Eastern time this afternoon in hopes to relieve pressure on the brain.

Grim Doctors, Hopeful Family

I am a day behind in relaying information about Rob. I haven't gotten an update this morning, but yesterday's report was grim.

The doctor's have been treating Rob for pneumonia. His fever returned and they packed Rob in ice Wednesday evening to reduce his 104º body temperature. Since the stroke, Rob has been agitated and unresponsive. The medical staff are giving him morphine because they know he is in a lot of pain. The triage doctor said that they do not expect for Rob to get any better than the state he is currently in. Yet, we still hold out hope because the doctor's have already been wrong once. Rob wasn't supposed to live, yet Tuesday evening he was responding to commands of raising his arms, legs, and head. Today is a new day.

Stroke

Rob had been progressing really well. Tuesday he was able to move all of his limbs. The doctor's could not tell yet what the extent of the long-term damage was, but this was a great sign. For a man that wasn't expected to live, he was doing amazing.

Much of Wednesday Rob was agitated, and then yesterday afternoon Rob had a stroke and it affected one side of his body. At this point the doctor's don't know how severe the stroke was.

On the investigation side of the assault, witnesses in the neighborhood haven't been willing to talk because most in that neighborhood don't trust police or police detectives. At this point there is not enough evidence to make a case against the seven 13-year-olds.

Update on Rob

Thank you so much for your concern and prayers for Rob.

Yesterday was a good day for him. He was able to respond by opening his eye. He has been on a respirator in order to help aid his breathing. Many of his muscles responsible for his breathing are relaxed, so the respirator helps override those relaxed muscles and keeps him breathing. They took him off the respirator for a couple of hours yesterday and he was able to breathe on his own. Breathing became labored and they put him back on the respirator.

Last night and today Rob has been unresponsive. He hasn't been able to open his eyes when asked to. He has been off the respirator again, though, for much of the morning. They are hoping his unresponsiveness is due to him being tired. His being unresponsive has been really hard on his wife, who is 7 months pregnant with their fourth child.

The stolen bike wasn't the first time the seven thirteen-year-olds have caused problems for Rob's family, or the neighborhood. A few weeks ago the same group knocked his wife to the ground––remember she is 7 months pregnant. A neighbor said that the main boy of the group knocked a 74-year-old man out of his wheelchair last summer and stole it.

And, apparently, the beating Rob received was captured on video by one of the group-member's cell phones and has been posted on the internet. The detective working the case at this point has refused to confiscate any of their cell phones.

Please keep praying for Rob, his wife, and his family. Thanks.

A Heavy Heart

Picture Order: 1) Me holding Rob. My cousin Scott, Rob's brother, behind us. 2) Rob's school picture. 3) My cousin Scott, my dad, me, and Rob at Silver Lake Sand Dunes. 4) Rob fishing with our favorite aunt Sue. 5) Me, Scott (behind), and Rob. 6) Rob grown.

I received a terrible phone call this morning about my cousin Rob. Two weeks ago some kids had stolen his daughter's bike. Last night while walking home from work he saw two kids with the bike. He walked up to them and said that he didn't want any trouble, he just wanted the bike back. His wife saw him and she came, and he told her to take the bike home. Another kid blindsided him. With what he was blindsided with we aren't sure. It may have been a baseball bat. There were seven thirteen year olds in all.

Rob later went into seizure, then into a coma. Last night the doctors weren't sure that Rob would make it. They operated on him, taking out a piece of bone from his skull, as well as a very large blood clot.

The last information I had was that he could––when asked by the doctors––wiggle his toe, grab the bed rail, and give a thumbs up sign. The doctors are encouraged by that, but have given him medicine to sleep in order to keep him calm.

He currently has a tube running from his brain so that the blood to will flow in order to reduce the brain's swelling . The doctor's said that the next four days will be hard, and that things will get worse before they get better.

At this point they had only found six of the seven 13 year olds. The seventh is the one believed to have made the blow to Rob's head. The other six have been released back to their parents.

Rob, his wife, and their children would certainly appreciate your prayers.

Dryers and Sam's Feet

During the kids' spring break I fixed our dryer. I am the family launderer. I was noticing that the dryer was leaving long, thin brown marks on my dress shirts and on Jean's blouses. After taking it apart, upon further inspection, I noticed that one of the roller wheels was very worn. You can see just how worn the inside edge of the wheel is in the photo. The worn wheels were causing a gap between the dryer drum and seal. The rear seal of the dryer was also very worn. Clothes were then getting caught in the gap caused by the worn wheels and getting dirty when they rubbed against the worn rear seal in the dryer drum.

When we were leaving for the appliance parts store Sam said, "My feet really itch!" I told him that he probably had athlete's foot. I asked when he had last changed his socks. He said, "I don't think I've changed them since spring break started." It was now Thursday. Spring break began the previous Friday.

I ended up replacing both dryer wheels, the belt, and the front and rear seal. Dryer repair is pretty simple, and I could probably keep this unit going indefinitely. It is SO much quieter with the new wheels. So much quieter that it is often hard to tell if the dryer is still going or has ended.